Hungry? As already mentioned, in Pattaya there is everything a Farang needs. Those who don’t want have “Wiener Schnitzel” or eat by Mc Dirt every day (there is a 24 hour Mc Donalds on the Beach Road) should try something else, Thai food!!! Apart from the cooking and soup kitchens, the food markets, or having something brought to your room by the girlfriend… 

…There are definitely new culinary surprises to be discovered in Thailand. Recently I tried a “Moo Kata“ (pronounced Moo Kataa, which means so much as “Pig Pot” or “Pot Pig”). Actually it originates from Korea but is well known, liked and widespread in a slightly modified form in Thailand.

The main part is a large pot heated from below by means of glowing charcoal. Depending on the version, this is all within another pot situated in a cavity in the table. Thereupon is our “Pigs pot”. Its surface in the middle is convex with many small holes. A small piece of bacon is placed on top in the middle. The fat which slowly comes out of the bacon makes sure that the pieces of meat (beef, chicken, liver, pork, quail) placed on top by those eating, does not burn whilst barbecuing. Apart from that, on the outside is a ring-shaped recess which is first of all filled with a clear meat stock, this is followed by a raw egg, rice noodles and various leaf vegetables. The fat from the bacon and pieces of meet continuously runs into this mixture, which in time makes the soup a lot tastier. Everyone has a small dish and drinks some of the stock or soup together with the pieces of meat. If needed the Stock is topped up.

Together with all this it is possible to order a variety of Thai dishes such as lukewarm but very hot spicy rice noodle salad with raw onions and Patchi (Yam Wun Sen), stripes of pork or beef with Thai basil (Nam Tok), or the minced variation (Lab Moo/Nüa/Ped). Khao Niao (glutinous rice) should by no means be absent; it’s loved by the Isaan girls (and myself). Neither should the various home made dressings (Nam Tim), or dips and hot spices. Sound quite complicated, but it’s not. Your girl friend will look after you… Those who like eating will get their moneys worth, that’s a promise, all this for very moderate prices, even in the better restaurants which are normally only visiting by Thais.

Tony’s is down the walking street, and is an institution in Pattaya. I personally think the disco has seen better days. Used to go there regularly, was great for pulling freelancers (still is). I always found the show great; the slightly older Filipina was pretty good. These days the show consists mainly of pissed up Farang dancing around on the stage, who the hell wants to watch such rubbish? Especially when most of them look like pool attendants from Rimini.

Prices have risen steeply recently, 150 for a beer, quite steep. A bottle of Black Label costs 3000 (without dilution!). Was there recently with a mate and 3 chicks, a round cost a 1000, out of proportion as far as I’m concerned. The service has also gone right down the drain; the V.I.P. card from brighter days doesn’t help anymore either. Or that you can nicely piss ice cubes in the urinal… But as I said, nipping in and grabbing one is just as easy as it used to be. 

We drove a few hundred metres down to the disco ship during the night after Tony’s had closed. There was a sort of free shuttle service. Everything that had feet and could still walk got on its way, including the service personnel. Everything just carried on aboard the ship.

Laem Singh. Arguably one of Phuket’s most appealing beaches. Is situated between Kamala and Hat Surin, about 20 minutes on the bike from Patong.

Disadvantage: One has to walk for a few metres (Bikes and cars have to be parked up above, costs 20 Baht to be guarded). The bay is pretty small meaning it gets quite full, and for those of you who might be disturbed by the fact, it is mainly visited by Italians. Their not the cheap pool supervisors from Rimini, they are all at Patong lying in the sun. Apart from that, when the sea gets rough one has to watch out that one is not swept over to the left towards the rocks – this can be pretty dangerous – apart from all that, bathing there is easy and nice.

Advantage: Apart from the appealing location and occasional overcrowding, one is somehow still able to get a bit of peace and quiet. I cannot explain it, that’s what it’s like. One doesn’t get on each other nerves, there is very good food, I recommend ‘Da Ali’, great Italian cooking, but for those who don’t want ‘Spaghetti al Dente’ (Perfecto), there is also very good Thai food. Of course one can order ‘pet pet’ (hot) as often as one wants and with emphasis, but one always gets the lax version, the ‘farang’ version. But as I have already mentioned, high standard, and high priced as usual, but not too expensive, is still affordable. Friendly people who make a lot of effort, and of course, spectacular sunsets.

The girl was a freelancer who I dragged from the street in Patong, load of crap: Just for a bit of fun I undid her bikini, just pulled the string a little, she got really uptight, must have been on the game down Frankfurt station for some time… I just played innocent, but drove her home during the evening, sacked her without notice, of course without any payment. Where the hell are we then, got enough bitches back in Germany, bye bye.

The tsunami warning signs are not to be missing here either: In the case of an earthquake, run the 50 metres to the next hill. One just has to follow the arrows OK, we are all a lot wiser now. The wave smashed everything here as well. The people here had to start again from scratch… They didn’t have things quite as bad as others, as far as I know nobody lost their life, and the beach is a goldmine, they will have money coming in either way.

Bangkok is huge! So huge that there is nobody at all who can claim that they know the whole city. With the many millions that live there it’s a world of its own, the traffic with its jams, the rush hour and the air (which in fact has got a lot better over the past few years). With the many contrasts that one experiences it is in fact really like that: Either you love it, or you hate it. After my first visit there I personally decided to love it, even though I’m not so keen on crowds of people and loads of pushing and shoving. Anyhow, I still feel quite good when visiting the place.

But even we most certainly won’t get to know Bangkok really, but that’s not supposed to be the point of our short excursion. Not just because the town is so large, gigantic in every way, alone the sight of the amount of concrete used to build the place nearly knocked me over backwards. Even for example, the contrast between rich and poor or the different cultural values compared with ours, the customs and views of things that reveal themselves only superficially, but we as casual visitors don’t really question let alone understand. All this and much more makes us feel a little like a tiny little grain of sand in the desert, and to stay with this metaphor, “we quite often can’t see the woods because of all the trees”.

But don’t let yourself be discouraged: Even when you visit for the first time and don’t immediately come to terms with things, Bangkok is still quite simple. It’s just Thailand! Nobody has to be afraid of straying off or getting lost, BKK is safe, crime doesn’t play much of a part, most certainly a great deal less than in other metropolises around the world.

Our claims on the town, and I think I can speak for most visitors who are here for pleasure, are of course different. For this reason things are quite different for us.

Bangkok is small! Doesn’t matter whether one is a “cultural tourist” (YUK!!!!), who wants to take a look at all the temples, palaces and other attractions (which cannot be done within a few days), or whether one has come for the other type of “pleasure” (the town has a lot to offer): The beaten track that were all moving along has already been very well beaten. We always move around the same paths. It’s a fact that over the years one meets the same acquaintances again and again. Somehow that’s reassuring isn’t it?

For those amongst us who are always „willing“ to have a bit of pleasure, and I must admit that I belong to this group, the same old streets and corners again and again play their part. There is for example the NANA entertainment down the Sukhumvit Road with all the bars and side streets belonging to it. The nearby “Soi Cowboy”, which is really a short street, so short that when looking closely one wonders how it’s possible to have so much fun there and make so many different experiences. And not forgetting PATPONG!! Yes, that’s where you will find all the “catalogue tourists” and families such as one would probably find on Mallorca, one would be surprised. But don’t worry, they just spend their time down the markets, buying this and that and a few souvenirs to take back with them to show off. Don’t be afraid, one doesn’t meet these type of people in the places where we hang around…

One or the other of you will manage to make it to Chinatown; it all depends on the state of the traffic, from the Sukhumvit area with a taxi it takes about 30 minutes. Down here for example, it’s great for buying gold. Or the Khao San Road where in earlier days the back-packers used to hang about and where these days one will only find those ripping-off the sensations tourists. Don’t want that? Good, let’s concentrate on the more important things.

We’re now going to, although we will risk a view from the Bayoke Tower (BKKs highest building), eat some typical Thai food and take a stroll through some of the shopping malls, mainly concentrate on having “fun”, fun with the girls! That’s exactly the reason why I continuously visit Bangkok. The Gogo Bars and amusement miles are unique in this world, even though Pattaya has a word to say; it is in this sense larger and has more mass on offer, BKK just stands alone.

Just as all over Thailand, there are also karaoke bars in Pattaya. The Thais way of enjoyment: You take a girl with you and let her sing. The bars are quite small, a few chairs or other seating arrangements. Important: The karaoke automat. Normally one of the waitresses presents a list of songs. Our girl chooses a few songs and the waitress puts a 10 Baht bit in the automat and off you go. They give you a microphone and the girl starts singing. One orders drinks, mainly a small bottle of Thai whisky. This is mainly drunk mixed with soda and a drop of coke, tastes great. A little something for the stomach is normally available. Let your girlfriend show you, it’s fun!  

The whole process is also available on a larger scale, in such cases there is live music or a DJ to play the music. Gathoeys often work in these bars. There is a lot of dancing, and of course singing on the stage with a big screen which is mainly available in the larger bars. The prices for this type of fun are quite reasonable. For a large bottle of “Regency” (better Thai whisky) including dilution you pay around about 1200 Baht. For this amount you will have fun all night, you also meet more Thais there than Farang.