Another beach? Of course lads, we’re on an island!

Nui Beach is a small remote beach in Phuket, that apart from being situated at an appealing location, is still a bit difficult to reach. It is situated (When coming from Patong) between Kata and Nai Harn Beach. That’s where the roofed viewpoint is on the way to Khaluang Beach. One passes by the viewpoint on the right and carries on down the road, after quite some time one will see a sign with ‘Nui Beach 2 km’.

The road is absolutely terrible; I even had a bit of difficulty with the jeep… There is no way one will make it in a normal car. The roads were completely dry, haven’t got a clue how people get there during the rainy season. So, choose either four wheel drive or an enduro. I guess it is also possible with a normal motorbike, but watch out that you don’t damage any of your bones. By the way, there is a much more comfortable way to reach this beach, one gets someone in a boat to take one there, I am going to try that at some time in the future, this means that one will even have the pleasure of a small trip at sea, and as we already know, these trips are quite amusing.

After about one kilometre there is a large sign offering a ‘taxi service’: For the last kilometre 80 Baht per head, each way. One is able to park one’s car and phone with the use of the mobile, one is then picked up. Of course, this service is also offered for the return journey. It is expensive, if there are two of you it will cost a total of 320 Baht, then it is better to catch a boat, shouldn’t cost more than 400 Baht from Rawai. 

In the end one reaches the entrance to the beach, yes, one has to pay an entrance fee: 250 Baht each. This price includes a deck chair and a drink. For those who don’t believe it and think that they can get in for free, there is the telephone number of the tourist police on the sign at the entrance.

Once one has mastered all hurdles, one is rewarded with a very nice cosy beach, with excellent restaurants just above providing a lovely view of the natural surroundings.

The beach is no good for non-swimmers, gets deep pretty quickly. NBC equipment (For snorkelling) can be hired; there are also canoes for paddling about in.

OK, the typical visitor is from quiet and boring up to extravagant, and it would most certainly be great fun to turn up in a long-boat with about 5 whores to create a bit of a fuss. At least one would draw a bit of attention

Well, what did I mention about my last visit to the island… I was in Lamai, that’s the second largest tourist location; I was in the Weekender Hotel. As far as I am concerned, it was, at the bottom of the line, a little bit to quiet, I mean the location, the hotel wasn’t that good either (see hotel description on the homepage). Will ad a few photos to the report later on.

That’s the reason why I came to Chaweng this time, no doubt about it that it’s the location with the most shops and hotels, the tourist centre amongst the islands so to say. For years I have been giving advice to first take a good look when something new enters the market, if one decides to go somewhere new, and what do I do myself… Ok, I paid the price; I have already mentioned the hotel. That the situation in Chaweng is now completely different as I had imagined is also my own fault. I thought, Samui, this tiny little island, what needs to be prepared there? Off to Chaweng, right in the middle of things, the rest will work out itself, I’m an old hand, rubbish.

Our hotel CHAWENG BURI was situated quite conveniently, pretty much in the middle of things, but I searched in vain for a Beer Bar centre such as in Lamai… The scene there is somehow different, everything was larger, but not concentrated, and everything is such a long way from each other. The road carries on for kilometres down the beach, of course there are a lot of hotels, there are loads of shops, beauty and massage parlours, and the usual sales stalls. But Beer Bars? Wrong. One has to search for them with a magnifying glass; it’s not that much of a whore’s location. If anything, the whole of the island is a bit of a “catalogue tourists” place, and differs a lot from Phuket. So, Patong on Phuket and Chaweng on Samui are completely different.

First of all I wanted to take a look at the Gogo Bars, for a long time now I had thought that I had somehow heard about them. So, Werner searches for Gogo Bars in Chaweng. Dragged the chick along, called a taxi: Take me to a Gogo Bar! Don’t know of any, after the 3^rd or 4^th try, “Gogo bar, no problem”, lets go, cost me 300 for the journey, he chucked us out in front of the “Coco Bar”, open air and live music. After standing around in front of the place for quite a long time, the manager came out; who I immediately asked where the hens were. He told me there weren’t any, not allowed on the island; I then jacked in looking any further. But: never trust a bar manager, you are supposed to drink HIS beer, but not me, not to the sound of live music Waaahhh!

Two days later I found what I was looking for, near a solo disco, there are some here, 2, Gogo Bars, really bad? No, those in Khon Khaenn are even worse.

Carry on with the first evening: Just for myself, I had really believed in the Beer Bar scene on Samui… Wanted to down a few bevies together with Noi after the experience with the Coco Bar. Didn’t find any straight away! Who would have thought that… Chaweng is different, it’s a bit confusing. So we did actually jump into a taxi and buzz off down to Lamai! Cost us 300 each way. Went down the old and well known Beer Centre which is situated not quite opposite the old WEEKENDER RESORT. There I kept a few girls free and started the usual old programme… B52s, Black coke, Spy, Margarita, Beer etc. I felt a lot more at home here, and also the sight of the girls at the bar was familiar to me, the way they looked anyway. I was glad to have Noi with me. In the Bar Centre itself it was pretty dead, nothing much going on, haven’t got a clue how they manage to survive. My girl was pretty pissed up afterward, and pretty good for use as well…

By the way, there is also a Sado-Maso place in Pattaya: The Castle. I don’t know why I am linking it… In comparison with the two pretty good places in Bangkok, this place is just a poor copy, or did I just happen to have a bit of bad luck? The shock of the place caused me to forget to take a photo, not even from the outside. I rang the doorbell and a female nose poked out and asked me whether I had been there before. “No”. She explained the prices to me (same as those in Bangkok) and let me in. Inside, a hoard of Koreans kneeling down and being entertained in front of the appropriate women. A pretty fat naked bloke was being fastened to a cross in the corner of the room by two of the women, pretty harmless, but then again…

Well, I thought, how nice. I take a seat at the bar and order a black soda for my 900 Baht. Three hens turn up and present me with my own private show: One of them is tied to a few poles and blindfolded, her tits are hanging down. I have a quick feel, in fact I am told to do so, can’t be bothered with such floppy things. One of the others kneels down; this one is also blindfolded, and awaits what is coming. She is a lot better looking, and I have a good feel of her large but inviting backside. The third woman had already lit a candle, one of those candles that produce a lot of hot dripping wax, this she then drips in an SM way onto the backside of the one kneeling down waiting for what is coming.

I grab her wax-covered backside, and… The woman with the candle gives me an angry look and with a quick movement of the hand, sends some of the wax flying in my direction. At first I thought she was trying to include me in the “game”, but then I register that the hot wax had just missed my hand (if she had hit it, it would most certainly have been quite painful) and my shoes. Then, she really did give me a very angry look, as if she had wanted to bite me. This all hadn’t been to provide me a bit of pain, but to demonstrate that I had not behaved very well, because I had touched the other woman’s backside.

I’ll explain: I had been integrated in the game in both the Barbar in Bangkok, and in Demonia, I had been allowed to and it was in fact what they had wanted, that I take part. Sometimes I even amused the girls with the utensils I had taken along with me (a very nice latex mask covering the whole head with a pretty long latex tail):

I hadn’t awaited all that much, but I had never been treated in such an unfriendly manner before, not anywhere in the world, not even where one is expected to be tolerant. I am the paying guest (and not that cheap either) and expect, if I do happen to do something wrong, an appropriate reaction and to be told what is wrong, but not that. By the way, I was stone cold sober that day (was only early in the evening).

I cried out loud and clearly “Gep Tang Kap!” after the moment of fright, or should I say after I had sussed the situation out (This really only did take a moment or should I say a second after I had seen the look in the bitches eyes). All of the other women in the place (and one other guest, could have been the manager though) suddenly took a look what was going on, that’s just what I wanted to happen. I was given my bill on demand, BANGED a thousand Baht onto the bar, grabbed my 100 Baht change, and disappeared out of the door without even taking another look at the place. Had only been in there for about 10 minutes, she could let her wax drip down the other woman’s backside without my help, and I can get a black soda in any other bar in the world, and cheaper at that. The main point though, without being reprimanded in such a rotten way.

Lads, go out and get what you can, pay well for the service, but what ever you do, don’t let them take the piss.

Hat Surin. The beach is about 20 minutes bike journey to the north of Patong. It is completely structured for tourists, very similar to Patong. It is a very nice beach, but during the monsoon season (about May until October), swimming is not recommendable due to the life threatening currents. During this time red flags fly to warn against entering the quickly deepening water. Despite of the warnings, the occasional careless tourist drowns here.

The large picture above may deceive: The shot makes the place look romantic and solitary, but it’s not, especially during the main season. A few years back there were restaurants and bars along only about half of the stretch of the kilometre long beaches; the rest was solitary and empty. Nowadays the place is completely full from one end to the other. The new catalogue tourist hotel does the remainder of the damage. However, one is able to sit quite comfortably, there are showers and the food is recommendable, even though not all that cheap, but who would expect that here anyway.

So, after finding a nice hotel, and a means of travelling, it starts to get dark in Patong. The throat is dry as a bone, and the girls are waiting.

Today I really put my shoulder to the wheel, and screwed the wide angle and tripod onto the camera. Grubert turns night-time into daytime… There are not many things one won’t do… just like a catalogue tourist, strolled through the early evening bar streets dragging my equipment along with me… But I reckon it had been worth while, well, I think so anyway, the pics turned out good – anyone think differently?

The Tiger complex, the Bangla Road (This is where all the beer bar streets and stalls can be found, all those places that are dead during the daytime), catalogue tourists, sex, and quality tourists. Many couples, most of them completely different from each other. The ‘Thai Pan’, where one will find loads of freelancers, but only late at night. It has just got dark! Street traders with the latest crappy bric-a-brac, are hanging around, cigarette traders all over the place. Still nothing going on in the Tiger, they are filling up with beer, the first of the hens are doing themselves up. Depending on the time of year, this is a place where one will at a later hour not even be able to find anywhere to sit down.

Of course, in the meantime the scene in Patong has also changed to the effect that there are a lot of farang couples and cultural tourists. Of course the girls cannot profit from these people, and if one asks what they think about this they just moan quite a bit – even during the main season. OK, one has to take the rough with the smooth.

Doesn’t matter, people always differ and expect different things. In general they can be divided into two different categories. In the category where they screw up their nose because of all the ‘easy women’, and the other type, a little more pleasant, are those who smile when they see one messing around with a whore in a Tuk Tuk, as if to say – we used to be young as well. These people mainly come from Australia or somewhere similar, but not from a small village behind the German woods. Well, what can I say; many people are out of their depths in such a situation. Travelling educates, that’s the only thing I can say about this, it expands one’s mental horizon. But not if one is a stuffy old German – narrow minded, or what? Some people just make one want to puke.