I have already reported quite a few times about the world wide recognised very good Thai food, also on the earlier Phuket CD. Here are a few more examples with pictures of culinary highlights that I have experienced on the island myself.

The sea food market opposite the C&N hotel (Next to the Tiger complex) is one of my favourite places for everything that is dragged out of the sea, and even though only tourists use the place (At best the sex tourists tarts are with them), I find the prices ok, the main thing is that the quality is good. The restaurants are all numbered, and my mate and I have got used to eating our way through the lot of them during the course of one single holiday. There are about 12 of them, in front of each restaurant one of the members of staff welcomes visitors with a shake of the hand, the purpose of this of course is to get people to eat in ‘his’ restaurant.

A typical bill for a couple of grown up lads, who of course have once again ordered much too much, and have also had a few beers or other bevies, could be around about 1000 Baht, which is about 20 Euros. For this price you get the best, something really special. It doesn’t always have to be spinny lobster. Lobsters such as those with the large pincers are not available in Thailand, but calling all things lobster manages to keep the price up a little. As a pair of fresh-water sailors from the interior of the country, we order the things with a ‘sweet and sour’ dressing. Apart from the fact that they taste delicious (Together with various fruits and a special dressing), this variation has another advantage. One does not have to break ones fingers eating them, the fish loosens when being cooked and is put back into the shell enabling it to be spooned out when eaten.

Another thing that can be recommended, but a little more expensive, are the large crabs as in seen on this photo. Typically, they are served together with a curry dressing. One is also able to choose fish in all variations kept cold on ice, for example, ‘Pla Nüng Manao’, which is white snapper with lots of garlic and lemon. There are also mussels, oysters (Try them barbequed), scampi, shrimps, squid… Simply fantastic, and cannot be found with such a quality in a restaurant back at home, not for all the money in the world 

Anyone wanting to play the exotic type of person can order a hamburger, is on the menu, but I have never seen one.

By the way, talking about hamburgers, a farang needs something a little more western style on his plate now and again. A nice pizza? There are pizza parlours and Mcfilths is here as well. Recently we went to the ‘Schnitzel Landlady’ and stuffed ourselves with Cordon Blue, mashed spuds and a portion of fried spuds. Was not all that bad at all, grub just like at home… This place is about 500 metres past Christins (Massage parlour) on the right hand side. Has been run for years by an older Austrian and his Thai missus, it’s a bit like sitting in the living room. 

Of course on such a large holiday island one is able to find high quality restaurants, or at least they consider themselves to be. Picture one and two: In the ‘Baan Rim Pa’ down at Kalim Beach (Is still nearly Patong out towards Kamala), had a good meal there, good service, perfect view of the sea. All in all we found the value for money not all that good, was not really worth paying the visit. There is an Italian right next door, the place is called ‘Da Maurizio’, this place is really expensive, and cost me 5000 Baht including a bottle of wine, once was enough. I’m not saying it was bad, but do I need that sort of thing in Thailand?

Pictures in the ‘K hotel’ (Straight across from the C&N hotel). The place is run by a smart Austrian bloke, food from his home country, very good. So, for those of you who fancy a decent fried steak, a glass of wheat beer, and pancakes for afters, get off down there.

A feeding temple in Phuket town, the ‘Phuket View Restaurant’. Best thing to do is get a taxi there, fantastic Thai food, lots of Thai customers, prices quite moderate.

I can’t really recommend the ‘Savoey’, which has actually been recommended in my travel guide. High priced, yes, but masses of tourists and plastic plates, one expects a little more for the prices charged (Final row). 

So, why not go straight to the typical Thai places like cook shops and soup kitchens, doesn’t have to be frogs or things with more than four legs! Even the food markets have a lot to offer (some of them right around the clock).

Tasty sweets made of rice flour. ‘Moo Kata’ (Pigs pot) again, an original one, the way of making things oneself at the table formally came from Korea. 

Thailand just wouldn’t be Thailand if food was not to be found all over the place! Nobody has to worry about not getting anything to eat, no matter where one is heading for, lunchboxes can be left at home, it really doesn’t matter whether one is down on the beach, on one’s way somewhere, in a shopping mal, in a karaoke bar, etc, etc. Apart from that, there is always something new to be discovered.

Ever had a sour salad with vegetables, onions and pomelo? Was extremely hot, (Whole chillies), up to now I hadn’t either. Found one down Hat Nui, the salad alone had been worth taking the trip down there…

The ‘Miang Cham’ , which is mentioned elsewhere.

My Hotel:

C&N Hotel
151 Rat-U-ThitSongRoiPi Rd.,
Patong Beach, Phuket 83150, Thailand
Tel.: (+66) 076 341892-3, (+66) 076 340475 Fax: (+66) 076 341895
E-mail: info@cnhotelpatong.com

Hoteltest

Please don’t mistake it with the one from the C&N resort, Spa, same group, has a pool, but lies a little bit out of the way (Just before the safari club towards Karon).

The C&N hotel has no pool, but this is no problem at all, one can actually do without it due to the numerous beaches on the island. The best thing to do is take a room at the back. In the meantime, the old wing has been renovated; one can see this because there are now tiles in the rooms, no unhygienic carpet. In the old wing, the bathrooms all have a tub; in the new they have complete bathrooms, which I find very convenient. The view out back across the car park is nothing special but peaceful, the small balcony can be used, and apart from that, it is possible to sleep in if one likes that sort of thing.

Depending on the season and the length of the stay, the rooms will cost around about 1000 Baht (800 – 1200). The free of charge pickup service (Only when arriving) from the airport can be ordered by booking beforehand, this service presents no problems at all (The driver will wait at the airport exit with a sign with one’s name written on it). The main advantage of the hotel, apart from the reasonable prices, are the satisfying facilities and the service in central areas, which has now become more friendly again such as it used to be. During the evening, one doesn’t have to bother about a motorbike or car, (One will want to knock back a few bevies anyway, and that’s not good when driving), meaning that one is still dependant on the Tuk Tuk mafia:

So, let’s just fall out of the hotel right into the middle of things, restaurants and bars all over the place. There is an internet café and travel agents in the same building (In the meantime the service has managed to regain its friendly manner). Here a few insights and views, some a few older shots of various rooms that I managed to take during certain occasions. Room at the front, view from the balcony at the back. View across the town and the nightlife from the roof.

There’s quite a lot to tell. Phuket is actually an island for taking a holiday on the beach, but anyway! I can’t tell you a thing about the nightlife in Hat Karon (where there are surely a few nice restaurants and beer bars), and at some of the remotest parts of the island one or the other “catalogue holidaymakers” will most certainly be “enjoying” themselves… Not what WE really want, don’t you think? We have enough family days out here.

So let’s get going: Patong is quite well known for its Gathoeys (Ladyboys) and everything that goes with it. So lads, if that’s what you want, just get off down there. There is in fact a whole street where the “reconstructed” ladies and gentlemen, well, just men actually, hang about. There are a great deal of good looking ones amongst them, and now and again the odd tourist doesn’t even know who or what he has pulled… It’s not my world, what’s good for the goose may NOT be good for the gander.

Something else, Patong has got lots on offer for the average “willing” person looking for pleasure.

First of all I will say quite clearly, „forget the Gogo Bars in Phuket“; compared with those in places like Bangkok or Pattaya, they are a load of rubbish. Ok, for those who have never visited a Gogo Bar and want to take a look, get down there. The prices for the hens are out of this world, they want 2000 Baht for ST (short time, that means a quickie), and 4000 for LT (long time, should be right through to the next morning with a morning screw included) + 500 Barfine.

After all that, the service is absolutely terrible, and some newbies feel like they have been messed around. This is due to the excess of “catalogue holidaymakers” who often come on holiday with their families and want to get their end away quickly. The girls are completely spoilt… But there’s nothing against taking a look and having a beer. One could have a bit of luck: One could find the “right one” in one of the Gogos, or have a bit of fun. Coincidence plays a part, and of course ones own mood and spirit.

As a mini-break holidaymaker, it is always better to go straight to places where things happen and there is a better chance of having some real fun. There are the Beer Bars and “freelancers”. There are many hundreds of Beer Bars in Patong alone, no-one knows them all or can somehow “try them all out”, doesn’t matter, the principle is always the same: A few more or less good looking hens (take a look) hang around at the bar and try to get the “customers” to by them a beer or even more. The “even more” doesn’t mean the number of drinks if you see what I mean.

Of course all bars want to sell as much as possible, this is free enterprise and all bars have to exist somehow. But our topic is the hens. They are most certainly willing and want to tag along. One falls through the bars during the evenings, (preferably with a friend), enjoying life with a few beers, small talk and one or the other amusing game such as “4 wins”. (the intelligent variation): E.g. at some time or other one gets hooked up with a sympathetic Thai girl, yes, it’s as simple as that. One pays the “Barfine”, the bars compensation for taking the girl with, which is around 200 Baht, and off you go to the hotel. The next morning you press about 1000 Baht (€ 20) into her hand, and that was it.

I don’t no, some of the most simple things in life seem to be the most difficult to explain

Patong beach is not really one of my favourite bathing areas on Phuket island, apart from a pretty good American breakfast (that’s if I feel like something like that) down at ‘Chez Bernards’ or as it is sometimes called ‘6 on the beach’, it is situated pretty much in the middle of the kilometre long beach, or a beer with a friend to round off the day (before getting down to some really serious business), there is not much that attracts me to this very full, yes I must say overcrowded, bathing area. But now that we are here, a few impressions despite of things being as they are.

Of course there will be tourists who come here, tourists who are not bothered about the rows of deckchairs, four rows of the damn things, or tourists who are not motorised. Just for fun, I always compare it with Majorca or Rimini, but in the end it doesn’t matter anyway. The water and the beach are OK, sun worshipers or those who just want to take a quick dip are at the right place here. Apart from all this, during my visit last March I discovered that even all the other beaches were just as packed out, but I’ll tell you a little more about that later on.

Patong once again: Let’s start with our daytime view of the island. It is not really worth taking a look at the town during the daytime, there is not all that much going on at all. Everyone is spending their time down at the beach, at the pool, or lying in bed with their tart until about midday. Of course, there are supermarkets and shopping malls etc. Fridges have to be filled at some time or other, and sim-cards for mobile phones have to be refilled. Anyhow, Patong sleeps well into the afternoon. The shopping stalls, where imitation Rolex watches and T-shirts etc such as all over in Thailand’s main tourist centres, are being flogged, have their highest turnover during the evening and at night. Everything here opens pretty late, but massages are on offer, they open at about midday.

Nevertheless, here are a few pics I took whilst travelling through the town, or took just by coincidence. The more interesting of the photos were taken as it got dark, there will be quite a lot more later on in the report.

By the way, I recommend that anyone wanting to take a trip around the island hire themselves a motorbike, or better still, a car. One will need an international driving licence – not to hire one, but for the police controls – whereby it is better to have one, not mentioning that maybe even something unexpected could happen.

I have been riding motorbikes in this country without use of a helmet for years now, especially outside Patong. Apart from the fact that it is very irresponsible, police controls are become more frequent. Something strange about the compulsory wearing of helmets is that the rule only applies to the rider of the bike and not passengers. In future, anyone caught without a helmet will have to expect a 300 Baht fine (6 Euros), but it’s not the fine that’s the problem, its waiting for hours at the police station – this means that the day is completely ruined.

The advantages of having one’s own transport are obvious: One is flexible, one can travel to where one pleases at any time one wants, and that without being dependant on the Tuk Tuk mafia whose prices are much too high. A quick trip with the hen down to one’s favourite beach, or down to Phuket town at midday – to go shopping, sightseeing – or a visit to the ‘Siam Hotel’ (Cheap knocking shop, is called the ‘juicing station’ by expats) if one is wanting to dip one’s wick.

There are loads of bike/car rent places down the Beach Road; even the hotels do this sort of business. Prices are negotiable (Not so much at the hotels), and are around about, depending on the season and the length of time needed, 150 to 250 Baht a day for small bikes, mainly 125 cc. A jeep can be rented for about 500 Baht. If I rent a bike I take my own lock with me, better safe than sorry, although I do trust the woman who hires me the bikes. One must pay for the loss of a bike with them not being insured, cars are.

Another thing, if you happen to be involved in a traffic accident, take it that you will always be at fault if the opposite party happens to be a Thai. Don’t know why, but that’s the way it is and it’s better to know this beforehand.

I always make sure that I get a new bike; I can’t claim that I’m much of a flyweight, and with a bit of stuff on the back, I want to be sure that I can get up steep hills all right… Apart from that, the last few times I have had an automatic, which is quite convenient, and new ones have quite a bit of storage place under the seat as well. The rucksack with the beach utensils fits in it, and also the helmet when parking somewhere.

Don’t expect much of a jeep for 500 Baht (Is a super price anyway), what did my mate say recently, “Grubert, what do you expect, where I live in Munich you can’t even get a pizza for a tenner”, which is quite true. Make sure the brakes are in working order, normally they are. If not, get a different one. Such an old crate will rattle a bit. An alternative is a car from one of the larger car hire services such as Hertz for example, but for the joy of this one will have to dip one’s hand a lot deeper into ones pocket.

By the way: I would once again like to answer the question of the location. I often receive emails with questions about this topic. As far as I am concerned, the best thing to do is stay in Patong, and at ones desire, to take a look at the island during the daytime starting off from this location. The advantage is that here the average sex-tourist has everything he possibly needs, starting off with the nightlife, through shopping possibilities up to the good and affordable hotels. If one lives (excuse me please) up the arse end of the world, one will have the lovely beaches on the doorstep, but anyone wanting to take a look at the island does this during the daytime anyway, and this is no problem from Patong. One thing is clear, in Patong one has the nightlife on the doorstep, and one doesn’t want to be driving around at night, maybe even pissed up if one has had a few. The ideal situation is that one steps through the door and lands right in the middle of things. So, if one has to drive, then during the daytime down to the beaches. Do the safer thing during the night, which of course is also a lot more convenient.