Well, the “third gender”. Voices warned me before my first trip to Thailand about bars where the girls are too good looking, the best thing to do was keep on walking, meaning past these bars. This warning was not without reason, although after years of practice I am mainly in the position to distinguish between a Gathoey and a real woman, ‘accidents’ cannot be ruled out… Especially with the Thai operating technology being recognised world wide, with it being quite advanced. People travel to Thailand from all over the world for cosmetic surgery and ‘other’ measures.

In earlier days one could recognise a ladyboy by the size of the Adams apple, the deep voice, or the scars from inserting the conspicuous implants either on the breasts themselves or under the armpits. These days have long gone; the advanced technology has put a stop to this… One should now orientate oneself on the size of the ears and hands, nothing can be done here… But caution, as I have already mentioned, Thais are dainty, which easily leads one to making mistakes. Well, some who have made such mistakes have no regrets  ;)

Sure, Thais are suitable due to their dainty bodies, but also due to their lack of ‘cramped’ upbringing, and other values (Cultural background), especially the passion to giving in to their passions and ‘converting’ themselves. Nevertheless, in most cases one is able to recognise them. Many ladyboys still have their deep voices, a very much exaggerated female or ‘queer’ behaviour, and, If one takes a value-free look at their physique beyond ones own horniness and surge of hormones, then one will see that something is not quite right at all, but as I mentioned, not always. 

Transvestites are not offside within the Thai society, in general they are tolerated, yes, in fact they are accepted. The main thing is that they are ‘suay’, meaning pretty. Nobody screws up their nose at them… Thais like being pretty, so what! Very good looking Gathoeys have a high status within society.

Although in Amsterdam or London it may be seen as fashionable that a transvestite has a ‘post operation’ meaning an artificial fanny (Yuck), instead of the real thing, in Thailand the pre operation variation is preferred. He looks like a woman, except for the fact that he still has his ‘thing’ dangling about. Or should I say she? I Don’t know, doesn’t matter anyway.

An old friend of mine who has been living in Thailand for many years now, and does not dislike a ladyboy now and again, told me that this sort of thing has nothing to do with being bent, exactly the opposite, gays wouldn’t even take a second look at a ladyboy. I don’t know, but I will take my mates word for it, he knows all the tricks of the trade, and when I say all, I mean all of them.

I myself am also ‘hmm’ a little susceptible to such fun. Sitting in a bar with a few mates where only Gathoeys work, and having a bit of the usual fun is ok, dragging one of them back to one’s hotel can be fun to.

Thai ladyboys are the best looking world wide, but they do tend to steal and try and rip one off. This is the general opinion of those who know the scene. I must agree with both these points, even if one should lower ones sight with the second one, because there are differences.

If one encounters a group of Ladyboys down the Beach Road in Pattaya at two in the morning, one should hold ones money tight. This is no joke lads, it’s not being prejudice either, it’s like this. They steal from you faster than you can imagine, I would never drag a freelancer ladyboy along with me, trouble will be on the agenda. They are very hard in comparison to the others; those working in bars may not be a bunch of softies, but generally they don’t try crooked things. The reason being that it is known where they work, therefore, it is known where they can be found at all times. Nevertheless, one should always be careful, not just with the third gender, but here in general.

Phuket is famous for its ladyboys. There is even a complete bar-street down the Bangla where they can, amongst others, be found. Right at the other end there is a cabaret show… With mind blowing costumes and presentations fit for a circus. This is not my sort of thing; the lads are just too queer. This is the sort of thing that catalogue tourists – ‘that’s something worth while seeing’ – go to take a look at.

These creatures can also be found in many of the beer-bars, where just like the others; they go on the ‘game’.

So much for the theoretical part of things, the practical examples are to follow: We always had a lot of fun down at the ‘Cocktails & Dreams’, (Funny name), a bar within the Tiger complex. Unfortunately the bar is now history, went there for fun with a few mates and sometimes with a few chicks. Want to see some of the stuff? A pure rhetorical question. 

What! I thought, as I sat at the bar with a few mates, they even have real girls here. Must admit that I had already knocked back one or two alcoholic bevies as I saw them sitting at the bar. Men cannot be that good looking I thought. Grubi-like, I didn’t wait long before waving them over. Ordered a drink, small talk, Oh God, a deep voice, I asked myself whether a female’s small chest was able to produce such a resonance? If not, what should I do now? Doesn’t matter, I had a heart and paid for ‘her’ to come along with me. Shall we agree upon this version? Ok, we could say ‘he’, or if wanting to be really cruel ‘it’. We agreed upon a 1000, whether ST or LT, I didn’t really know, I was getting dizzy.

Once at the hotel, the first thing she did was take a shower, then we got down to the important ‘thing’ in life. Ok nothing really happened; Grubert dressed his first ladyboy in the small red thing, and waited to see what happened. Fantastic blowjob on the bed, so far so good, until I Let her take a drag on my cigar. After a couple of draws, I take it she inhaled into her lungs; she dashed off to the bog and spent the rest of the time puking up. Was quite funny really, I had a good laugh anyway. After a few minutes she had a good laugh as well, but that was the end of the fun, I had lost my sense of bravery. I gave her 500 Baht because it was not her fault, and we remained friends. I spent the rest of the evening with the tried and tested, real girls.

After a few more bouts of fun in the same bar during the next few days, my mate and I decided to hold a small spontaneous party in my room in the C&N. For this purpose we got ‘engaged’ to a chick each, and took a look at what they could do for us. Ok, I have had more exciting parties in my time, but none of them were like this one. A few laughs later subsequent to the festivities, I decided to take my chick down to the Safari.

It was about two in the morning, just the right time for such activities. Luckily enough my partner wasn’t all that shy, which was apparent with here using part of my ‘Bunny Outfit’ (Regular readers know what I mean) as part of her evening dress. I found it funny, a quick photo of her with the bunny ears in the hotel corridor, and then we carried on with the fun. I mean, lads, we’re on holiday in ‘Amazing Thailand’, we just have to make use of the time and enjoy ourselves, it’s dismal at home.

In the Safari we had a few alcoholic bevies, and got on with things. Later on in the hotel we went a bit further, what did we do? Just for a change I will leave that one to your power of imagination. It’s about time that you gave things some thought as well

Therefore: My scanty experience with ladyboys on Phuket was of a joyful nature. The girls were in a good mood, honest, pleasant. By the way, they were genuine guys, but we have had enough of that topic already.

Click on the photo for a Phuket Beach Video (Laem Singh).

Beaches? Fantastic beaches!!! Shown here during a short day trip to the Racha islands (Boat trip). Everything found here is of the highest degree of quality… ‘Icing-sugar’ like beaches… Chrystal clear water, loads of fish, which nosily swim around one whilst snorkelling… It was shortly after the wave, all on Racha were busy rebuilding, the natives told us that there had also been a number of fatal casualties here as well, many buildings had been torn town, and a lot down at the beach as well. This was the reason why there was only a temporary pier… Floating plastic pontoons, on which one was not able to walk barefooted due to them heating up in the blazing sun and getting much too hot.

A piece of info: Because of the tsunami, the water is supposed to have become very clear. During the trip one was allowed to fish… Plenty of fish here as well, subsequently they were put on the barbeque and eaten together with a few other side dishes, delicious, even more delicious, the most delicious of all…

Set off quite early in the morning from Chalong Bay, we were picked up at the hotel. Was nice, and didn’t cost much at all. The three of us (Mates) had our bits of stuff with us. Back to the hotel in the evening with the minibus.

The ‘Safari Club & Disco’ is the oldest of its type in Patong. Is situated just outside the town towards Karon, on top of a hill. One can get to it by hiring a Tuk Tuk for 100 Baht per person, or with ones own hired vehicle. The disco used to be divided into two: The former larger roofed area is now open-air such as the other part, just like the area around the pond with fountains. Apart from that, they now have ‘The House’, which is just a bit further on and can be seen from the pond. Things get going here right towards the very end at about five in the morning. In general, things always get going late at the Safari: One doesn’t really need to turn up here before two in the morning, unless of course one is looking for something to eat.

This place has always been one of my favourites for pulling freelancers, depending on the season; one is able to find what one wants quite quickly. As an old night owl, the opening times here are just what I need… 

On this day I pulled the small blonde tubby one down at the Tiger, a quick visit to the hotel, shagged the arse of her then took her down to the Safari. She caught my eye straight away, because of her hair of course, then I saw her figure and thought, nooo, I can do without that… But somehow she was ok, so I decided to take her along anyway.

Here a few snapshots of the place just to give a first impression. The pics in the room were taken in ‘House’… The girl was quite funny and horny to; I slipped her a quick length at the back on the sofa… Some things are never forgotten, and I like this type of filth.

There is everything in Safari, whores, ladyboys, queers… And even the odd blond Scandinavian bit of stuff forking out for a nice Thai boy.

You already know my ‘sea-snail’, really a fantastic body… The deaf and dumb ladyboy on the picture before last wanted to give me a blowjob behind the house, and that every day, but each time he mentioned it I told him “tomorrow”.

‘Dipping Gathoeys (Ladyboys)’ in the Safari Club: Two good looking (But very very wet) ladyboys are sitting on a frame above a huge tub of water. For 100 Baht you get three throws, and if you hit the heart shaped area in the middle with the rubber ball, the ‘chick with a dick’ falls into the water. I had a go after I had asked whether he/she enjoyed the job, YEEEES!!! After a while I was completely wet myself, but only my pants because of laughing so much.

Can be reached within 20 – 30 minutes on a motorbike. Quite a large long peaceful beach, I’m always right at the back at “Mama & Papas”. First of all a bite to eat, then hire a deck chair out (or two), then off for a swim. The beach is on a slight slope, the water is shallow, and the hen doesn’t have to be able to swim There aren’t many people here. It’s not what you would call pure romantic, but if you walk for a short distance you are pretty much alone.

I’ve just remembered a story about KAMALA BEACH:

I have quite often jumped onto my motorbike during the night sometime after 2 in the morning and rode around a bit. It’s a pretty certain way of pulling a chick as a pillion passenger. Also works during the day: left the hotel at midday in a horny condition (went broke during the night), down to the beach on the bike. Started a conversation at a red traffic light with a couple of hens on a bike (Take notice, is always):

Where you go?
I go my room! And you?
I go to the beach. You come with me?
Me or she? (unfortunately she had a helmet with a visor; I should have taken her passenger)
You!
OK, go room, you follow me!!
OK!

10 Minutes later I had packed her bikini and we were on our way to KAMALA beach, my “local” beach. I didn’t want to go to LAEM SINGH because a few mates were there waiting for me, and I didn’t want to present this “beautiful thing” to them. Unluckily enough, just as we had ordered our breakfast soup, one of these mates turned up… He thought that she didn’t look that bad at all; I had had worse than that, but not by much. Doesn’t matter, I was only horny. After the soup we jumped into the flat water, after 5 minutes I had it in, was finished 10 minutes later. God, so fast with that gut. Thank God the bikini and the water had hidden these weaknesses…

But there you have it again: In the water I asked her her name and where she worked. In a Gogo Bar in the Soi Sea Dragon! Sorry, all is good and nice with the girls, I was really happy that afternoon, but 500 BF + 3000-4000 for LT? Can’t be true.

I paid the bill (3 x meal, a few beers etc), 400 Baht with a 1000 Baht note and gave her the remaining 600 (about 12 Euros). She did a deep Wai! Afterwards I took her back to her room, that was it, nice girl… (not the girl on this pics)

Dhai. She was somehow a bit harsh… Yes! I like it harsh. I pulled her during one of my night trips around Patong on the motorbike, to tell the truth she came out of the hotel lift, and her ST („short time“ = one or, a shag) punter made a VERY stressed impression.

It sort of went like this: After leaving the hotel, she ended up all on her own standing at the side of the street. I rode up to her, a bit of small talk, you know, the usual “What’s your name, where you go” etc. After about 30 secs she was on the back of the bike and off we went down to the SAFARI CLUB (renowned Disco a bit out of the way). After a beer, back to the hotel to “check in”, wasn’t bad at all! And as easy as can be… Cost 1000/day for her effort, easy money because it seemed to me that sex was her hobby.

I had always thought that I knew my stuff, to pull a Gathoey (Ladyboy), that couldn’t happen to me… Oh! The story of a very good friend came to mind that exactly THAT had happened a few days ago… So, her quite harsh and in a harsh mood, and dragged me into THIS bar… There all blokes, seen when light. To tell the truth was a bit frightened or better said had become second thoughts… Thank God they turned out to be unfounded. They were genuine, I will claim so anyway, as a last resort I can tell by the taste!

Then I went to the bog on my own, a Kathoey was stood there in full glory at the piss-pot having a pee, I thought I was going to puke from laughing so much…

The girl was in a good mood, was always laughing and game for everything, she did everything I wanted, she even gave me a gobble in the toilet room… Why do I always like naughty stuff… Because it’s nice?

Isn’t it simply wicked? Anyhow, all together we were there for 3 days (or should I say nights, is open until 8 in the morning, in the middle of Patong!!), and each time killed off a bottle of Regency (“Thai whisky”). The waitresses boozed with us but that doesn’t matter because a bottle only costs 1200 Baht including dilution and the famous service. It was real THAI STYLE there !!!!

By the way, the place (and several others) can be found in the Soi Paradise down the Rat-U-Thit Road (not quite opposite to the K – hotel). I must go there again, but only accompanied by a female Ok… I’m not attracted to Gathoeys. Those in this place were pretty ugly; one has to say, solly ladies!!!