There is even a bit of that on Samui, OK, the chapter will not be that thick, the island is like it is. Discos in Chaweng: I didn’t think anything of the GREEN MANGO and SOLO. GREEN MANGO – 1000 pissed up young “catalogue tourists” with (brought along) company. It was always so full, terrible. They spent the whole time just getting in each others way, a bit like the local pub on New Years Eve, just open air and a lot lot larger.

Personally I liked the SOLO much more, they checked all who entered at the entrance, a huge place with a number of dance floors and various DJs. Stacks of freelancers. I hadn’t been left on my own for more that 2 minutes, for example when I needed to go to the bog, before I was more or less grabbed by one. The quality (sorry but I have to say it) of the hens, not so good, but there was surely something to be found there somewhere to suit the individual taste. There were even a few very young ones in the place. I didn’t check up on how much they wanted, sorry, after all, I was with my current fiancée. From what I have heard from other lads, it’s not that cheap there. To tell the truth, the chicks there are a little older than elsewhere, and I was glad that I was all sussed up.

By the way, both the discos I’m on about are right next to each other, about 200 metres from our hotel in a street with a U form. There are also a few Beer Bars down that way, loads of food stalls, and the two Gogo Bars, I will return to these a little later on.

Pics: Above is my bit of stuff having a dance. This is a quick opportunity to see a bit of the scene and what’s on offer. Then outside in the Beer Bars, the usual small kids at work (They mainly sell flowers and are sweet and cheeky). Of course I abide by my own rules and NEVER buy anything from them, even though it is very hard for them to understand. I do not support child labour. At the most I buy them a coke, because I know that when they sell something that they are not the ones who profit from the sale. Their slave drivers take the money (and the tip) from them. It’s rotten to see how some people put themselves in the lime light and by a whole bouquet of flowers from the girls, probably thinking that they themselves are nice helpful people.

The quality of the ladies here (whilst we are with the topic) takes another steep drop and levels off at around the quality of those of Lamai. 35 year old girls show all they can, and give it rock all, the later in the night, the more they do, Oh my Buddha!

The WC is down a side street, once I accompanied my bit of stuff down there, I heard out of my cabin how she suddenly started to scream like a pig being slaughtered. She hadn’t been able to lock her door, and a Farang had surprised her right in the middle of her “work” on the bog. The poor bastard, a young bodybuilder, wasn’t his fault and kept on apologising; to me! Shit happens.

During the daytime I mainly hung around the hotel down by the sea, especially during the first few days. Even the food is pretty good and cheap in the hotel (even better than some of the restaurants outside the area). It was quite enjoyable hanging around there. Now and again I sent my hen down to the beauty salon, this gave me a bit of time and peace for the Internet, lots of possibilities in Chaweng, there are also enough ATMs and banks.

After 2 days of recuperation I hired a car making it possible to take a good look at the island. The price of renting the car was 1600/day, it was a pretty large car, rented it in the hotel, was ok although about 100 Baht more expensive. In the case of damage or some sort of trouble, it is easier to deal with things in the hotel. A small Suzuki Jeep can be hired at the car rent including all insurances (CDW, co-payment by accident when own fault 5000 Baht) for around 800 Baht, a motorbike for 200. I didn’t want a motorbike because that’s a bit too dangerous with the girl on the back. I know myself, on the island the helmet will be forgotten about, so it’s better to travel with the much safer option of a car… Explore the beaches and other things worth taking a look at etc. During the evenings I left the car standing where it was because alcohol played quite an important part. By the way: It is imperative that one has an international drivers licence, even for a bike… Especially if one happens to have an accident or something!

A small highlight, from various aspects, is the “Big Rock” restaurant, or in good Thai, “Hin Yai”. Hung around here years ago with Nok the small “blower” from the “pump station” in Pattaya (see CD), enjoyed the food, enjoyed the view and the good mood that somehow automatically sets in as soon as one enters this place.

Why these nearly superlative words? Because it is more or less the best (when one can experience the sex that one can after all, experience all over the Promised Land) that one can await on Samui, and that in a concentrated form: The food is great, because it is Thai food as the Thais love it. Take a native of the country with you, and she will show you how things work. It will taste good all on it own accord, the price is reasonable – not really tourist prices.

Then: the view, yeah yeah, the romantic part of me is coming through again, but you really should eat here… It’s just terribly nice! The whole of it, and this is a point that really cannot be explained, one has to just try it out for oneself, to be able to understand it, in a sort of relaxed atmosphere, I mean the people there, the service, it’s just simply nice and free of stress. Everything just fits together. So during this holiday I hung around the place for quite a few hours as well, ate, gazed at the sea, enjoyed the atmosphere and had a lot of fun. We messed around quite a lot, after the second beer we calmed down, I have never seen it very full there… One is more or less alone.

It’s a pity one cannot sell it in cans – Island feeling, pure Samui.

By the way, you will find the place between Chaweng and Lamai, about half way, on the left is the sea, and on the right are huge rocks (the reason for the name). Can’t miss it if you keep your eyes open.

We are now in Chaweng, daytime, before I start: there were a few things on the island that really got on my wick… For example, that in the shops, one couldn’t as it is usually possible in Siam, haggle with the prices very much. I’m not a miser, but I do think that anyone who doesn’t haggle when buying clothes and all the paraphernalia is definitely doing something wrong. Everyone is offering something or other, Jeans, skirts, T-shirts, Fake Rolexes, handbags “Trips, drugs and grandfather clocks”, and all of them expect to be haggled down to about half the price, if not, in the eyes of a Thai, one is just completely stupid. “Farang baa!”

The way I usually do things in Thailand: I ask the price, offer around half of that straight away, the peddler or salesman will answer with “cannot”, I carry on my way (holidays are expensive) clutching the money in my hand, this will shorten the usual haggling. Normally the seller will run after you and say “OK OK”. The deal is perfect. Someone once said to me on the Sukhumvit Road: OK, you can have it for the price, but I will make no profit on the deal. I said: OK, I believe you, but we’re both liars. Loud laughing, shook hands and we were both happy.

Not so on Samui.

It’s been more than once that I have ended up not buying something because we couldn’t come to agreement just because of 50 or a 100 Baht (100 Baht are 2 Euros), and that by sums of a few thousand Baht, mad isn’t it? Yes!!!

There it seems to be like this: A customer turns up and asks about the price, and pays the price as well, of course much too expensive. Why? I think the reason lies in the structure of the visitors to the island: There are just too many “catalogue tourists”, too many newbies, too many who just let the sellers take their money from them. My hen for example is in desperate need of a couple of new belts, ok, with such narrow hips as she has, everything just slips over her backside. Yes! I found it embarrassing on this day, NO belt to be bought, the reason, just a bit of small change. But I am not letting the seller say to me “my friend, this price is good enough for you”. If one starts with the “my friend”, thing, then I have had enough. Once again, I am not a miser, exactly the opposite, and I’m not that bothered about 10 Euros either, but I’m don’t like being taken the piss of.

For this reason I had to unfortunately lower my sights on this island.

It’s always a problem going shopping with a Thai. On the one hand one HAS to have a word about the prices, so haggle, if not one belongs to the fools. On the other hand one doesn’t want to belong to the “Ki niau” (miserly) in the eyes of ones idol. It’s more stress free to go shopping on ones own, but who goes out and buys a mini skirt without her majesty there to try it on… Thank God that mine was modest and didn’t feel insulted. Normally it’s no problem at all if one has already done it once or twice, that’s if one is not on Samui!

Pictures, My bit of stuff trying a few things on. The sales women was alright for doing a bit of haggling, and we found quite a lot of stuff. Arrival in the hotel, packed out with shopping bags, beaming all over her face.

Street life in Chaweng. shops, beauty salons, massage parlours, loads of ice-cream parlours. Down on the beach one can by bikinis for 150 Baht, or for 2950 in an expensive shop. One should avoid such shops when out with the hen, that HAS to get expensive. I knew it – and still went in, ok, she liked it, the following day I wanted to “shove one in” whilst in the water, would have been a bit difficult without a bikini, well, getting down to the water anyway, apart from that, one only lives once… 

Wait for the Pattaya part of this report and you will find out why one should never, never and I mean never go to a gold shop with a girl, let alone with two… Yeah yeah I know, I was a bit of a plonker this time

Something a bit “lighter?” We were out and about in Chaweng looking for SANUK, had fun. Found what we were looking for in a few Beer Bars. Snooker, large amounts of alcohol in the form of B 52s, Margaritas and Black Labels. The lamps are burning; fun is on its way.

In between in a Swiss steak house which was not quite opposite the hotel, have forgotten the name of the place, thank God. It’s expensive and really a load of crap. Some woman who obviously came from our type of culture and her companion with a tie around his neck looked completely astonished at the sight of us, and I mean really astonished. It’s not very often that I am stared at like that. Whore! Child molester! I am more than twice the age of my companion, but not a celebrity, I mean, if my name was Davie Beckham or someone similarly prominent (or at least as rich), then I would have tolerated this, more, accepted it.

The fact that I had a young whore with me seemed to have the same effect on this woman as when watching the TV at home. I smile at her as gallantly as I could, look straight at her, in this situation, for her like a smack in the gob. She turned away disgustedly, her partner just laughed. Had obviously been out and about quite often. Don’t worry lads, things like that don’t happen that often, and when, then mainly down Samui or in the tourist hotels in Pattaya at 9 in the morning and next to the pool.

Koh Samui – Pattaya

Travel report by Major Grubert

Hi friends,

On this page, you will find a few photo impressions of Koh Samui and Pattaya – meaning in general photos of my last holiday out there. Is probably interesting for all of those who don’t know what awaits them there!

Read more…