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    Something I would never have guessed before: The most fun I ever had in Bangkok was actually in Patpong… I always thought that the place was only interesting for the catalogue tourists, Japanese and newcomers, but that’s not true at all. The three remaining blowjob bars “Star of Light, Rose and Kangaroo still offer a few good possibilities. One is also able to hire the service personnel for certain parties, even though some night-watchmen dub one to be a “filthy pig”. I myself would never have had the idea of seriously investigating Patpong as a possibility of having fun with all those rip-off Gogos and terrible upstairs bars. Well, not until a Bangkok expat showed me the ropes. This happened a few years ago now (and changed my life), but in general things are just the same these days.
     

    To get to Patpong from the Sukhumvit Road it is best to catch the sky-train (BTS), for example from the station at the „NANA“ or the “ASOKE” (Soi Cowboy) down to the “SALA DAENG” station. The trip costs 25 Baht and even though one has to change trains once the journey only takes a few minutes (the trains travel at one minute intervals). The train is safe and fully acclimatised. I will go into more detail about the sky-train, which was built by Siemens, later on.
     

    Of course if one wishes one can travel by taxi, that’s if one is too lazy to go down to the BTS station. The trip with the taxi costs 50 Baht. Another method is taking a motorbike-taxi, which is recommendable if traffic only consists of traffic jams. The trip with a motorbike-taxi will cost about 70 to 80 Baht but in general is not all that safe at all, the drivers ride like madmen. Be careful on the way back, if one takes a taxi directly from Patpong most of them will want 100 Baht even though they are supposed to switch on the meter. Make sure they use the taximeter, if they don’t then get out of the taxi and walk for about 100 metres in the direction of travel; it will then be possible to get one without being ripped off. They do that sort of thing with tourist at certain points around Bangkok, they wouldn’t dare trying it out on a Thai. By the way, a tip for the taxi driver is something unknown; take a look at the chapter “Travelling with taxis in Bangkok” on the “News from Bangkok” CD.
     

    If one happens to arrive at Patpong during the early afternoon there will be nothing to see of the glitter and glamour. Everything seems to be more dismal than adventurous. But there are a few good locations for a bit of fun. I usually visit one of the blowjob bars and hire myself a few girls to take back to my hotel room (or to a short-time hotel close by) for a bit of a party. Recently I deliberately took a stroll around to take a look at other things than I already knew of… There are quite a few massage parlours and quite a few tarts roaming around (take a look at the photo) looking for fresh “victims”. I let myself be dragged into a massage parlour, was quite nice but not brilliant. The two chicks were a bit too cool for my liking and didn’t really have their mind on the job. 
     

    In places such as “Lift” or “Sisters” it possible to have a bit of fun, I just took a quick look, let them show me a few of the girls but there wasn’t anything I fancied there that day, nothing I wasn’t able to find close by and maybe even better.

     

    Not too long ago I had paid another visit to the “Kangaroo Bar”. I had just arrived on the plane from Phnom Penh and was pretty horny. Got chatting to the next best “artist”, ordered myself a beer and a lady-drink for her. She got “it” out and gave me a blowjob at the bar, pretty much a standard thing in this place, after all, the cops cannot race up the stairs as fast as the bell is rung downstairs, which is a signal for her to pull my prick out of her gob.

    After about five minutes I took her into the “conservatory” (separated from the rest of the bar by a pane of glass) and got my end away, first of all on the bar stool then doggy fashion, I let her keep her skirt on. As I have already mentioned I was extremely horny, after a few minutes I shot my load. Didn’t really take a very good look at the tart in the dim light but that doesn’t matter anyway, the screw was great, cost me 1000 Baht with a tip and a drink.

     

    The Kangaroo Bar is still ok. The “Rose Bar” is still a blowjob bar, one has to go upstairs here as well, things can still be arranged here but most of the girls are more like zombies. With a bit of luck though one may manage to find something a little decent, just go in and take a look around yourself.
     

    Then there is the “Star of Light”, ground floor bar, the police gave them a hell of a lot of trouble. First of all the ST room had to go (was a bit of a shoebox, apart from myself only a maximum of three chicks fitted in there meaning that each new position had to be planned carefully due to the lack of room), then unfortunately, unfortunately and once again unfortunately, the fantastic curtain under the bar had to go, the one where one could sit and get a blowjob whilst supping ones beer. Now one can only get a blowjob on a stool or in the bogs, not that this bothers me all that much, but I don’t come all that quickly and the whole procedure takes place in a bit of a hurry. 
     

    This bar is good for hiring chicks, they do absolutely everything one wants. Hiring fee 400 Baht, for a bout of short-time (2-3 hours) one has to pay 1000 Baht. It is well worth taking a few along from this place, they really do know what they are doing. Another thing, one doesn’t have to be worried about being ripped off in any of the bars just mentioned. They don’t ask for all that many lady-drinks, the prices are at a fixed rate and are ok and the bill is always correct.
     

    The “Star of Love” is a place of the past, a pity really; they have just got a lot stricter, which in Thailand can vary from district to district. From a political point of view the government is at fault for these “unpleasant customs”, we will just have to wait and see what the new government does.
     

    A quick comment on the side, that’s it with blowjob bars in Bangkok, unfortunately the old “Lolitas” down the Soi Cowboy is now a car park and as far as I am concerned the other “Lolitas” down the Sukhumvit Soi 8 is a load of crap.
     

    More Patpong:
     

    Well, what else have we got? During the evening there are of course the sales stalls with the usual bits and pieces for the catalogue tourists and backpackers, there is also a large Foodland supermarket (open 24 hours a day) and loads of restaurants. Above all there are the large Gogo Bars such as “Kings Castle” etc. Caution, it’s here that they once put 1000 Baht too much on my bill. In general one is warned about paying a visit “upstairs” – one has to go up the stairs were among other things there are shows being performed. This place is a rip-off; one is in fact ripped off something rotten so keep away. Once again, the “Kangaroo” and “Rose” are not like this, they are absolutely correct.
     

    Of course there are ladyboys in Patpong, the red-headed colleague is a nice example. The kathoys in some of the Gogos are extremely good looking.
     

    The “BarBar” (nice homepage) in Patpong is worth paying a visit to if one is a friend of the more “intensive” type of fun.
    Caution, “filthy pig” Alarm!!!
     

    This is a sadomasochism bar similar to the dump down Soi 33. The only difference is that they have less trouble with the police here. Earlier on the “BarBar” was on the ground floor but nowadays the ground floor is occupied by a small bar with dancing poles. The actual BDSM bar has been moved up to the first floor with the old system being put to use, quite clever really. If the police actually do happen to control the place (by the way the guests don’t have anything to worry about) the doorman presses the appropriate button and an alarm is set off upstairs. In such cases forbidden activities are interrupted immediately. It’s like this in all Gogo Bars where girls dance naked; after all this sort of thing is strictly forbidden in Thailand.
     

    More photos from around Patpong below: I took the pics of the ladies with the – very charming as far as I am concerned – view from behind in the bar. Unfortunately I don’t have any other pics of life inside the bar. There is a metal frame there, “torturing tools” and a school bench etc.etc. Take a look at the homepage. The last time I was there I had about four girls sat around me all supping a lady-drink. There was also a girl acting like a dog, she was barking and whining and crawling about on all fours, she also wanted a drink but I told her no and to the others amusement said something like “not you dog, sit down and shut up”.
     

    After some time I was more or less ready for a short-time, this together with three or four whores of my choice (high prices, the more one takes with one the cheaper it gets for each tart) because I had been promised quite a bit of swinishness. Curiously enough this dream didn’t come true because of the Mamasan.
     

     

    This is what happened: After letting the chicks know what I was expecting on this day, they served me with a long drink of the special kind for “testing purposes”. A large glass of “natural bubbly” (piss) “tapped” from various sources there and then right in front of my eyes, the whole thing on ice, I had never had it with ice before, a premiere, delicious.
     

    I sipped away at my “piss on the rocks” and drunk a toast with the girls. The Mamasan turned up and said that it couldn’t be true that guests were given free drinks and told me to pay for the drink. After quite a discussion I was so angry that I forgot about everything, paid my bill and left the place, of course, now more than ever, not before finishing off my “free drink”.
     

    Well honestly lads, one really can exaggerate things when money grabbing, or what do you think? The Mamasan messed up business for the girls as well, own fault though.

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    “Rama IX” is the name of a pretty well known large street in Bangkok. Known from driving around anyway, a point of guidance on the map. Had never been down there – until one of the hens from a bar in Patpong dragged me down there. I had paid to take here with me (1500 + 400 BF) because she had a pretty appealing back side. Earlier that day, I had fallen though a few bars enjoying myself, then I met her.

    From the dairy:

    Down Patpong in one of the usual bars, an ST with a somewhat Japanese looking round backsided completely flat breasted (drool!!)31 years old. She really gave it the works! – soaking wet, and the whole program including TA/TR (tongue anal up to the root of the tongue, gg). 500 plus 250 for the room. After that took another one along from the same bar for LT (agreed upon 1500). She dragged me down to the RAMA IX, her ”sister” owns a Karaoke Bar there. I was allowed to pay for everything, but that’s normal as S told me. The bill came to 2000 including 2 large bottles of Scotch, dilution and a bite to eat. Of course her sister boozed with us, was all right with me, the more the merrier. Of all things, this sister had a daughter, could speak no English and as “hard boiled” as a newcomer.

    Anyhow, she still managed to get me really “hot” with her red T-shrit and short skirt. My LT found this ok; the mother also found it ok that her daughter was able to earn so much money (1500) in one night, and let her go with us. Off to the hotel with the remaining Scotch, as I said, I was already pretty “hot”. I had promised myself a real threesome with pussy licking, the whole ish, which did happen: Everything ok, only my LT from the bar kept on hurting me during blow jobs. After numerous warnings I sent her home, as generous as I am, with 1500, I wanted to keep the daughter there, she didn’t want to stay, she said “goa”, supposed to mean “afraid”, “OK, then you can share the 1500”, that’s just what they did, that was the end of the party. I could have been a bit smarter, but I found it all a bit stupid to tell the truth.

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