Christine I met in Nakumatt whilst out shopping, I saw her in the telephone shop. She helped met to activate my units – and we exchanged telephone numbers. What I now describe is a perfect example of how NOT to go about things… The evening was pretty expensive with only about average fun. Believe it or not, It cost me 20,000 KSH (around about 230 Euros), although myself I only gave her a 1000. It all started off quite harmlessly: I asked her if she would like to go out for a meal with me, “yes of course” she said, I also asked her if she knew of a nice little restaurant that we could visit, something typical Kenyan, she knew of a place. She asked me if I would like to eat fish, sure, we’re at the seaside, and what’s better than a nice plate of fried fish… The restaurant was quite a way off so we had to travel by taxi to get there, and because it was so much out of the way we hired the taxi for the complete evening (meaning the whole night). Ok I’m not a miser. So off we went. I thought she was going to show me a small romantic dreamy restaurant where only the locals go, WRONG: It was more than likely the most expensive restaurant in the whole area, there were only tourists sitting there, some alone but most of them as couples. Apart from the waitresses, she was the only black person there. Well! We went in anyway; the waiter asked “how many persons”, I lead the way as things are done, Table right next to the water.

The chins of the others simply hit the deck. A dirty sex tourist has the impertinence to come here dragging his black whore along with him to this first class – “we want to be amongst ourselves in this very expensive” – restaurant!!! Should be ashamed of himself. The food: average, she had something baked over with cheese (fish of course), You can get things like this at home in the Nordsee fish restaurant down the main street for €9,90. Should I back down? Lets go the whole hog, I ordered a bottle of good French wine, all pearls to her, but she enjoyed it all the same… The atmosphere was more than “cool” very impersonal; the bill was extremely “fat”. Good job I’ve always got a bit of cash on me.

OK, off we went with a taxi, I wanted to take a look at the MAMBA disco, it’s a bit out of the way, out Nyali beach way. Crap! Felt like one had to go down 300 steps (could have been a few less) to a nearly empty premises. There were about 30 people spread around a room meant for about a 1000. 20 of them were girls who didn’t take any notice of us at all. OK, I was being accompanied, but I had the rotten feeling that nothing much would have happened here even if I had been here on my own. They were all dancing on there own as if they were in love with themselves, they didn’t seem to be interested in money or punters. There weren’t any there anyway. No comparison to the other places, not one little bit. We got on our way after 2 drinks and ended up in TEMBO, I had already got rid of a lot of cash and had to change my reserve funds in the form of 100 Euros in the disco, of course at an absolutely terrible rate of exchange.

After a few more „bevies“, all the „lights were on“ and I wanted to try out another hotel with her. What a crazy idea… She said that there was one in Mtwapa for 750 shillings. Into the taxi and off to the hotel, helped the taxi driver to a middle sized 2 weeks wage, who would start getting stingy now. The hotel, I can see now on the pictures, is the KENDAL VILLAGE HOTEL (not to be mistaken for the KENDAL HOTEL which has connections to the club with the same name, will get back to that later on). Also a load of crap, I had to pay 1500 in advance, the bar was shut, it’s not possible to get a beer and worst still a water, had to send the complaining hotel boy off somewhere to get me something to drink, that costs quite a bit as well, and what more, it seems to take ages and ages. Pretty irritated by now, we went to our sparely furnished room; there was a shower and air-conditioning though. We both had a shower and afterwards I shagged her on one of the narrow boards. Just by coincidence I happened to take a glance towards the door, there is also a small window.

The curtain is not just by coincidence prepared so that one can take a look into the room from the outside; the hotel boy does this as well. I jumped up as if being chased by the devil and ran over to the door and ripped it open, he legged it down the corridor and we carried on with the program. One thing I won’t forget is that with one of my legs that had a foot hanging onto the end of it, I managed to kick over one of the beer bottles that I had placed on the floor due to the lack of a fridge. The bottle smashed into a thousand pieces, one of which buried itself into my big toe which reacted with a bout of bleeding. Another thing that sticks in my mind is the fact that I gave her such a poking due to my temperament, that she spent most of the bout screaming “OOOHHHH YEAH! SWEEEETY!” which more or less turned the whole session into a comedy, well, secretly anyway “sweety”. This went on non-stop. Apart from that, she pulled a bit of a face as I shot may load into her mouth, not all hens are born for that sort of thing.

OH, my God.

That was the night, wasn’t it supposed to be a nice evening? But nearly finished. She had to arrive in time at the telephone shop to start work, we were both dog tired and had 45 minutes left to get a bit of sleep. Didn’t even think about an early morning shag! Shit, what a blow, if one makes all the beginners mistakes at the same time, then one has to pay dearly. Make sure that you don’t make such mistakes. You do have one advantage, and that’s before you go on holiday to Kenya, you can read this report, gg.

It was also very interesting to see how she lived, take a look at the pictures. No, not what you think. Kenyan slums look quite different, very different in fact. She lives in a favoured area; the houses there have real walls. As I said, I only gave her a 1000, compared with what the evening cost that’s just a small tip really. She seemed to be satisfied though, maybe she hadn’t complained because she thought that she had a big fat fish on the hook, completely wrong though… Managed to get away from the bait and be off for good, once is enough I reckon. It’s doesn’t seem to be that she was impressed by the fact that I had managed to get rid of so much cash that night, It seemed to be taken for granted. That right, after all, Muzugus are rich and money is not the issue either.

She herself didn’t have much money at all, she didn’t earn that much in the shop. Just for example: She boils her water each day to use as drinking water; bottled water is much too expensive. Nobody can pay for such a luxury from their poor wages, not forgetting though that she does have electricity in her room, even a telly, yes, Africa is poor and it makes one feel ashamed. How to deal with this? We can’t change anything, we just have to accept it and best just not let the people there see what we think, or just take it for granted. There is nothing other that we can do. Anyway, she had had a nice, and I, an interesting evening. What I consider a nice evening is something completely different, not taking the financial aspect into consideration. I would rather lie in my bed and use my own fridge, play my music and use my own timetable. There should also be a nice morning shag in the price as well, if possible anyway, and I like to decide when she can leave and not her boss (job). So it’s better to frequent the “real” whores, it’s cheaper, more fun and in general works out a lot better.

So as you see, it’s pretty simple to dip your hand in the shithouse – even I can – and have to now and again.