Well, the “third gender”. Voices warned me before my first trip to Thailand about bars where the girls are too good looking, the best thing to do was keep on walking, meaning past these bars. This warning was not without reason, although after years of practice I am mainly in the position to distinguish between a Gathoey and a real woman, ‘accidents’ cannot be ruled out… Especially with the Thai operating technology being recognised world wide, with it being quite advanced. People travel to Thailand from all over the world for cosmetic surgery and ‘other’ measures.

In earlier days one could recognise a ladyboy by the size of the Adams apple, the deep voice, or the scars from inserting the conspicuous implants either on the breasts themselves or under the armpits. These days have long gone; the advanced technology has put a stop to this… One should now orientate oneself on the size of the ears and hands, nothing can be done here… But caution, as I have already mentioned, Thais are dainty, which easily leads one to making mistakes. Well, some who have made such mistakes have no regrets  ;)

Sure, Thais are suitable due to their dainty bodies, but also due to their lack of ‘cramped’ upbringing, and other values (Cultural background), especially the passion to giving in to their passions and ‘converting’ themselves. Nevertheless, in most cases one is able to recognise them. Many ladyboys still have their deep voices, a very much exaggerated female or ‘queer’ behaviour, and, If one takes a value-free look at their physique beyond ones own horniness and surge of hormones, then one will see that something is not quite right at all, but as I mentioned, not always. 

Transvestites are not offside within the Thai society, in general they are tolerated, yes, in fact they are accepted. The main thing is that they are ‘suay’, meaning pretty. Nobody screws up their nose at them… Thais like being pretty, so what! Very good looking Gathoeys have a high status within society.

Although in Amsterdam or London it may be seen as fashionable that a transvestite has a ‘post operation’ meaning an artificial fanny (Yuck), instead of the real thing, in Thailand the pre operation variation is preferred. He looks like a woman, except for the fact that he still has his ‘thing’ dangling about. Or should I say she? I Don’t know, doesn’t matter anyway.

An old friend of mine who has been living in Thailand for many years now, and does not dislike a ladyboy now and again, told me that this sort of thing has nothing to do with being bent, exactly the opposite, gays wouldn’t even take a second look at a ladyboy. I don’t know, but I will take my mates word for it, he knows all the tricks of the trade, and when I say all, I mean all of them.

I myself am also ‘hmm’ a little susceptible to such fun. Sitting in a bar with a few mates where only Gathoeys work, and having a bit of the usual fun is ok, dragging one of them back to one’s hotel can be fun to.

Thai ladyboys are the best looking world wide, but they do tend to steal and try and rip one off. This is the general opinion of those who know the scene. I must agree with both these points, even if one should lower ones sight with the second one, because there are differences.

If one encounters a group of Ladyboys down the Beach Road in Pattaya at two in the morning, one should hold ones money tight. This is no joke lads, it’s not being prejudice either, it’s like this. They steal from you faster than you can imagine, I would never drag a freelancer ladyboy along with me, trouble will be on the agenda. They are very hard in comparison to the others; those working in bars may not be a bunch of softies, but generally they don’t try crooked things. The reason being that it is known where they work, therefore, it is known where they can be found at all times. Nevertheless, one should always be careful, not just with the third gender, but here in general.

Phuket is famous for its ladyboys. There is even a complete bar-street down the Bangla where they can, amongst others, be found. Right at the other end there is a cabaret show… With mind blowing costumes and presentations fit for a circus. This is not my sort of thing; the lads are just too queer. This is the sort of thing that catalogue tourists – ‘that’s something worth while seeing’ – go to take a look at.

These creatures can also be found in many of the beer-bars, where just like the others; they go on the ‘game’.

So much for the theoretical part of things, the practical examples are to follow: We always had a lot of fun down at the ‘Cocktails & Dreams’, (Funny name), a bar within the Tiger complex. Unfortunately the bar is now history, went there for fun with a few mates and sometimes with a few chicks. Want to see some of the stuff? A pure rhetorical question. 

What! I thought, as I sat at the bar with a few mates, they even have real girls here. Must admit that I had already knocked back one or two alcoholic bevies as I saw them sitting at the bar. Men cannot be that good looking I thought. Grubi-like, I didn’t wait long before waving them over. Ordered a drink, small talk, Oh God, a deep voice, I asked myself whether a female’s small chest was able to produce such a resonance? If not, what should I do now? Doesn’t matter, I had a heart and paid for ‘her’ to come along with me. Shall we agree upon this version? Ok, we could say ‘he’, or if wanting to be really cruel ‘it’. We agreed upon a 1000, whether ST or LT, I didn’t really know, I was getting dizzy.

Once at the hotel, the first thing she did was take a shower, then we got down to the important ‘thing’ in life. Ok nothing really happened; Grubert dressed his first ladyboy in the small red thing, and waited to see what happened. Fantastic blowjob on the bed, so far so good, until I Let her take a drag on my cigar. After a couple of draws, I take it she inhaled into her lungs; she dashed off to the bog and spent the rest of the time puking up. Was quite funny really, I had a good laugh anyway. After a few minutes she had a good laugh as well, but that was the end of the fun, I had lost my sense of bravery. I gave her 500 Baht because it was not her fault, and we remained friends. I spent the rest of the evening with the tried and tested, real girls.

After a few more bouts of fun in the same bar during the next few days, my mate and I decided to hold a small spontaneous party in my room in the C&N. For this purpose we got ‘engaged’ to a chick each, and took a look at what they could do for us. Ok, I have had more exciting parties in my time, but none of them were like this one. A few laughs later subsequent to the festivities, I decided to take my chick down to the Safari.

It was about two in the morning, just the right time for such activities. Luckily enough my partner wasn’t all that shy, which was apparent with here using part of my ‘Bunny Outfit’ (Regular readers know what I mean) as part of her evening dress. I found it funny, a quick photo of her with the bunny ears in the hotel corridor, and then we carried on with the fun. I mean, lads, we’re on holiday in ‘Amazing Thailand’, we just have to make use of the time and enjoy ourselves, it’s dismal at home.

In the Safari we had a few alcoholic bevies, and got on with things. Later on in the hotel we went a bit further, what did we do? Just for a change I will leave that one to your power of imagination. It’s about time that you gave things some thought as well

Therefore: My scanty experience with ladyboys on Phuket was of a joyful nature. The girls were in a good mood, honest, pleasant. By the way, they were genuine guys, but we have had enough of that topic already.