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    Grubert in Cuba
    Cuba Newbie
    Havana & Varadero
    © by Major Grubert

    Contents:

    Travel guide for the Isla Grande. Detailed explanations of fun relevant highlights in Havana and Varadero. Absolutely essential, it’s a “Must be Read” for single men in Cuba – not only for newbies!

    The “operation manual” for Cuban nightlife & Co. All important travel questions for before & after the trip.

    Travel report with a very detailed text part including authentic diary entries, which won’t let you miss a thing on distinctness. With content links, maps and index, addresses, tips and information.

    More than 1600 photos and 40 maps.

    Preface – Location, arrival, entering and leaving the country, booking – Tip booking – Visa/tourist card – Immigration – Customs – Travel health insurance – Forms for entering the country – First cash – Accommodation – Casa particular or hotel? – Legal and illegal casas – Chicas in the hotel/casa – Booking strategy – Currency, cash, plastic?! – Cuban currency, differences – Exchanging cash where/how – ATMs, which credit cards? – Bank cards? – Getting around in Havana und Cuba – Hire cars? – Taxi – Old-timer – Bici-taxis – Shared taxis – Round trips/sightseeing in Havanna – Travelling in the country – Viazul busses – Domestic flights – The Tropicana – What are Cubans like – Cultural shock – Bon Appétit!!! – Paladare – Restaurants – Safety tips – Safety strategy arrival – Safety strategy hotel/casa – Safety strategy when out and about – General safety tips – What is where in Havana? Vedado – The modern Havana – What is where in Havana? Centro – The old original Havana – What is where in Havana? Habana Vieja – The tourist Havana – Capitolio – Plaza Vieja – Prado – Calle Obispo – Canal de Entrada – Hemingway cult – The Malecón – Havana’s living room – Prices – Chicas – Beverages – In the restaurant – In the supermarket – Accommodation – Taxi – How much cash will I need? Cost calculation – Paysex in Havana – Motivation and background of the Chicas – Why do they go on the game – The difference in the long and short time service – Ladyboy and Gay Scene in Havana – Old-timer tour around Havana – The Prado – Havana’s boulevard – General tips and fundamentals – Health – Chemists – Travel health insurance – Tap water – Tips – The time to travel – Clothing – Shopping – Supermarkets – Language – Can I get by without Spanish? – Laundries – Pornography – Photography – Time difference – Viagra – Phoning – Mobile – Smartphone – Sim Card – Internet access – Short time, Long time, Lovesick clowns, Everything goes – Prepayment – Thieving – Scroungers –Furnishing in the casas – Small change – Electricity, Adapter – Tourist prices – ID Card (“Carnet”) check – Illegal casas – What to take with? – Politics – Travel guide/book tip – Addresses of casa particulares – Booking hotels – With the tourist bus around Havana – Chicas – A few photos – Varadero! – Arrival – Bus, Taxi – Taking a chica with to Varadero? – Accommodation – All inclusive or casa particular? – Internet access – Bon appétit! – Beaches – Out and about in Varadero – Bus tour – Taxi – Nightclubs – Bowling – Excursions around the surrounding area – Cardeñas – Matanzas – Viñales – Tobacco fields – The Playas del Este – Bacuranao – Tarará – El Mégano – Santa Maria del Mar – Boca Ciega – Guanabo – El Morro – Views – The last order – Cars!!! – The bottom line

    Index, Maps, Links & Co
    Links from the report, chronologically
    Maps, chronologically

    With authentic descriptions of all situations. The diary entries simply won’t leave anything to be desired

    As usual, all chapters with numerous photos

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  • Just some pictures from La Habana…

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  • Havana

    Shit, rain again, I hope the weather forecast for Varadero keeps its promise, mixed. Too much and only sun can be exhausting. Last night was very hot and humid… felt like 200% humidity and hardly any air movement. Slept completely naked without a sheet, all windows and doors open, soaked in sweat…

    General Tips and Fundamentals

    Health: the Cuban health system is very good, medical care regarding the number of inhabitants per doctor and infant mortality is better, for example, than in Germany. Doctors are well trained and there are a lot of high standard clinics and hospitals. The only drawback is the shortage of medicine. The international chemists are supplied first but due to the embargo there are still shortages. Please check your first-aid-kit and basics, if possible, don’t make use of the little medicine the Cubis have. The Cuban health system (for tourist) is profit oriented. They expect you to pay cash even if you’re insured; your insurance will refund at a later date.

    You must take out travel health insurance (sensible thing to do). If you are caught without one when entering the country you will have to take one out on location at high expense. If you take one out at home (for example in Germany 12 Euros annually with Hanse Merkur) you will be insured for all trips and it’s valid for the whole year.

    Tapped water is not fit for human consumption – well, not without problems. Use bottled water.

    Tips are given in restaurants and paladares, I think the normal 10% is adequate, that’s if everything had been alright. Taxi drivers don’t expect tips. Don’t forget the chamber maid in the hotel; give her a tip either each day or once a week. These people earn next to nothing for hard work, they’re dependent on tips to supply for their families. So, don’t save on the wrong things.

    The best time to travel is from November until April. The weather will be dry with temperatures reaching about 25 degrees Celsius. It can get cold during the night in January and February; May until October is the rainy season but mainly without continuous rain.

    Apart from the normal light clothing you should take a light jacket along with you for the odd cool night or trips with the bus (cold air conditioning). It’s a good idea to leave pieces of clothing or medicines in Cuba when you leave, the Cubans will be pleased about the old clobber.

    Shopping possibilities are limited, Cuba has an economy characterised by shortages so anything you can get there is no cheaper than at home. Of course this doesn’t apply to cigars. By the way, stogies offered by “friends” or on the street as “original” are ALWAYS fakes. Cuba has a multi-million backroom industry for cigars. From the rolling of stogies through the emblem to the packaging – all faked. So, buy your stuff in the official shops, otherwise you may be smoking what has been swept up off the floor in the cigar factories, if you’re lucky, if not, what has been swept up at the barbers… by the way, there is now average merchandise to puff away at for a few coppers – without a faked emblem.


    The supermarkets are mainly similar and few and far between, not much choice – of anything. Imported stuff is expensive, local stuff quite often not available. Something unusual to us and something you have to get used to are the extra shops for soap products, shampoo etc. If necessary you will have to wait in a queue again…

    Language: you will be at an advantage if you can speak Spanish. Most Cubans speak either very little or no English at all. The most extensive vocabulary can be awaited from the Jineteras (on the game) but with big differences.

    Laundrettes can be found here and there. The best solution is to let your casa landlady wash your clobber. It’s not expensive and for them it’s a possibility to earn a few extra CUC , they like to do this.

    Pornography (and everything considered to be) is forbidden, importing it is strictly prohibited. Don’t take any dildos or literature with offensive photos with you (that includes this report).

    Taking photos is in general not a problem if you have the right instinct with certain people. Exemptions are the police, the military and certain facilities including railways stations and airports. Taking a pic of a policeman can swiftly lead to trouble – and is unnecessary.

    The time difference to Central Europe is 4/5 hours (summer/winter time).

    Once I was offered Viagra down the Central Parque, the bus stop for tourist busses. He had Kamagra, Apcalis and some other product. First of all he wanted 20 CUC for four Kamagra pills, when I didn’t take the bait (I already had enough) the price dropped dramatically. One can’t rely on getting anything, maybe if one asks an “amigo”. Orders through such “middlemen” can be very expensive though.


    Phone calls – mobile – sim card. Complicated. O2 prepaid cards (Fonic for example) work but only SMS texts, phoning won’t work but you can be phoned yourself through the Cuban network. In addition to this SMS texts are pretty expensive. You can purchase a Cuban SIM card, there’s a 40 CUC one off fee for the card plus extra for topping up. One has to show ones passport, it’s not possible to get round this. Problem: You may have to wait for two hours or more until you’re served at these packed out counters. This was a reason why I didn’t bother. On the other hand having one is an advantage if you want to phone a chica if you feel like “it”.

    Internet access only works in larger hotels (lobby), there you are able to purchase cards (4.50 – 12 CUC/hour or 25 CUC for three days in Melia Cohiba). However, quite often the internet only works at a snail’s pace. Most hotels have PCs but you can also use your own notebook. The odd internet café uses the same system. Most Cubans don’t have an email address with them not being able to afford expensive internet access.

    Short time (“una hora”), long time, love drunk clown. Everything is possible. Of course the chicas prefer love drunk clowns because they yield more and promise the most success. Don’t make yourself look a prat! The chicas know what they’re doing; they know how to get what they want and quite often are very clever (like all Cubans). No, a degree or state examination won’t help you either.

    Black chicas, white chicas and everything in between. Only 10% of Cubans are black and from these most live in the Oriente meaning the east of Cuba near Santiago de Cuba. Havana is mainly white. Of course over the generations this has mixed a little, there are all different shades of colour – this applies to the girls too. We know that tastes vary 😉

    The difference between our women and Cuban women in genera. Well, one could write a lot about this. The most important thing seems to be that Cuban chicas have about 5000% more temperament than the sourpuss at home. This doesn’t only apply to certain “horizontal situations” (or should I say “positions”, hehe) but to the rest as well. The same goes for Cuban men, so, the girls are used to the mens’ Macho behaviour and don’t really want them to treat them “differently” (avoiding “grasp”). If you let the chicas do as they please you will be seen as a softy and with softies you can do what you want – that’s if you let them. So, adapt yourself to the way things are in Cuba and show them who the boss is, if not, you’ve lost.

    There are loads of Female sex tourists, which is OK. What I don’t like at all is that the media at home always refers to men as being “dirty bastards”, those who exploit poor girls to satisfy their needs. Women always seem to be “victims” who are simply looking for warmth and tenderness and always happen to meet the wrong person (foreign men are also “dirty bastards”, just like us, yeah yeah). Thereby its 1 : 1 identical, they pay for “it” just like we do. Most people seem to have problems with perception, something typical for our anti-male society. This also applies to about 90% of the politically correct “fannybeggers” and allotment gardeners. Of course it’s our own fault.

    It seems to be normal to have to pay a chica in advance in Havana. At first I didn’t want to and remained successful, however, in the meantime I’ve adapted myself to this system and everything has been ok. Everything has been correct, even though I’ve paid in advance.

    Nevertheless, you still have to be on the watch out; the Jineteras like to thieve in the casas when not being observed. Apart from that they like to scrounge everything that hasn’t been screwed down. Whether they can take this with them or that with them, it’s a bottomless barrel, don’t let them even start things like that. My standard saying in such cases: I’m not your supermercado! They all understand…

    The furnishing in the casa is quite often pretty old. No wonder, it’s not only that they use the same cars for over 60 years, some of the furnishing is that old too. In casas to rent out furnishing is mainly well looked after or has been done up. If you happen to visit a Cuban at home don’t turn your nose up if you happen to find a hole in the arm of a chair. Either there is nothing available for sale or a replacement costs so much that hardly anyone can afford it.


    It’s a good idea to always have ample small change with you, for example for a taxi, quite often they have no change. Notes of 50 CUC and above are scrutinised and you will have to show a means of ID, the number of the banknote will be noted. The best thing to do is get the bank to give you loads of 20s and smaller when exchanging money.

    It’s a good idea to take an adapter with you for the wall socket; with a bit of bad luck you won’t find a fitting connection in the casa. In such a case an adapter is worth its weight in gold. If you have a few devices with you to be charged it’s best to take a multiple socket with extension cable with you.

    Tourist prices. Sometimes it’s demanded that we pay higher prices than the locals. In general this is ok because lots of things on the Isla are subsidised through the system and cheap prices are reserved for the natives.

    ID card (“Carnet”) check. If you happen to end up in the position where you don’t know whether the chica is old enough (18) and/or whether she is registered in the casa meaning she has been checked, then always let her show you her Carnet to check her age.


    Illegal casas are sometimes helpful – but please, never use as accommodation, only for a short tryst with your beauty for the night. Then nothing can really happen from the side of the police, in such cases they are always involved. The risk is with the landlord/lady. Such casas cost about 20 CUC/hour. The cicas always know where one can be found.

    What should I take with me? The contents of most cases will probably not be much. Apart from the things already mentioned such as an adapter and first aid kit, a toothbrush and chuck-away razor for the chicas is a good idea and sought after. You will make the chicas happy if you take a few accessories along with you such as colourful costume jewellery, wrist watches from discounters, sunglasses, a bit of sexy lingerie etc. However, please don’t overdo things, don’t forget, they like cash most…

    Avoid talking about politics; it’s easy to put one’s foot in it leaving embarrassed faces.

    It’s a good idea to keep a business card belonging to the casa particular in which you are stopping with you. With this you will be able to quickly let a taxi driver or chica know where you want to go. The address (street) system in Cuba is different and has to be got used to.


    Be careful with forums. If you need information and ask a question you will more than likely get 10 or more people answering with 12 different opinions. However, there’s no harm in taking a look for information on current developments; just by chance you may even find the address of a good casa.

    Addresses casas particulares. Something not really satisfying is that when preparing your trip it’s not really possible to book a casa for definite, because you can’t 100% rely on it being available when you arrive. Unfortunately, there are those who book three or even more casas for the same period just to be able to pick the best on arrival. That’s a NO GO! The landlord/landlady is the one who loses out and suffers a loss. As far as I’m concerned it’s best to book a casa for the first two or three nights, or maybe a hotel, then take a look around and make a final decision whether to move elsewhere or stay put. Casas are ten a penny in Havana.

    Cheaper hotels (below 30 Euros) can be found through Condor. Sufficient for the first few days.

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  • I nip down to the High Society at about one at night on Saturday, the place is a lot fuller than the day before, but a lot of men being accompanied by a girl, can’t see many freelancers.

    I want to return to the Insomnia, recently an “older” mamasan had recognised me on the street; I promised to visit her. But I don’t get that far, somehow I let the girl at the door persuade me to a glass of champagne. OK, why not, I haven’t been in this place for ages. Nothing much has changed. A slim tart on the stage catches my eye, but she’s not the youngest anymore. After flirting with her for a while I wave her over and order her a small lady drink. She’s 28 years old and has two kids; but I like her.

    Once again I don’t stick to my good intentions and release her. The bar fine comes to 3000. The day before there were raids again down the fields, police from Mania checked out two gogos and now they’re afraid to take the bar fine let alone put it on the bill. So I pay for the two drinks officially, I have to give the tart the 3000, she passes it on to the bar.

    Outside the Kokomos she points to a bakla (ladyboy) and tells me, “My sister.” “Haha, you’re joking,” I answer. She giggles and tells me that it’s actually her brother, the second from three. By the way, there are a lot more ladyboys here now and they have got a lot better looking too. Some can actually compete with the Thai Gathoeys; I even have to take a second look to tell whether they are a genuine woman or not.

    In the room no problems, she does a great job with a good service. First of all a blow job, then doggy whilst standing in the middle of the room, she supports herself with her hands on the floor tiles. Then on the bed, doggy again. Creampie.

    By the way, she admitted to me that her younger son is actually 13, the older one 18 and she’s actually 34. I forgive her because I like her and she doesn’t look that old.

    I’m hungry, we nip off down to the Margarita Station. She orders some fried chicken but only eats half of it, gets a doggy bag for the rest. Aha, I know what’s going to happen. Back in the hotel we lie down for a sleep; I’ve still got a huge hard-on (the larger Cialis are still taking affect, they’re pretty good). However, I go to sleep to get myself fit for the planned morning screw, which we had agreed upon. After an hour I have to go to the bog, then her, her again, she returns and tells me that she has stomach problems, the shits, whether I would allow her to go home. Just as I thought. I told her it’s up to her, as if I want to hang onto a tart who’s prepared to rip me off. Runners are scammer, that’s a fact.

    She turned on the light and powdered her nose, for ages. I put a stop to this after three minutes and tell her I’m tired before holding the door open for her – she was actually had the cheek to ask me for money for a taxi. “Bulabula?” I ask her, meaning whether she’s ok up top – she simply answered with, “Oh.” She probably even expected a tip. I point to the door, she strolls out.

    She has the sort of face that makes you feel sorry for her, a sort of no money and no customer face etc. All the girls tell some story, some will be true but most stories are a load of crap, an attempt to get you to dip your hand into your wallet. Anyway, that’s not really necessary, otherwise this girl would have kept to the agreement and not done without her tip and maybe other “jobs” at a later date. Or does she think I’m going to release her again after that? 3000 for a short time and then they can’t understand when customers avoid them – I’d prefer to go down the Perimeter or get a freelancer, or even stay in Thailand.

    Emotions

    I take a stroll with a mate during the morning just before 11 past the church brothels, a couple of not bad looking chicks offer me a threesome with pussy licking. I would have taken them with me but had to say no because I wanted to release a girl from the Emotions. There’s something on their website about them opening at 12 but the site hasn’t been updated for the past 5 years – I’m too early, they open at 13:00 hrs. The Touch of Class next door already has customers, the atmosphere is good too, however, I’m not too keen on the girls; I’m engaged for today anyway. I nip into a beauty salon close by and have my nails done and my hair cut, but only the ends please.

    I arrive at the Emotions on time, the girl is just getting ready as I walk in. Yes, as agreed upon she has had her finger and toenails done; the previous day I had noticed that the varnish was crumbling. I had given her 200 to get this done in a deep red colour, she’s looking good again, getting dad horny.

    We have a drink, I pay, the bar fine comes to 1600.

    The first thing we do once back at the hotel is have a shower. Then, as usual, I get her to give me a blow job whilst kneeling down in front of the couch. She can, she gives my crown jewels a bit of treatment too. I pull her up and turn her around, without commenting she pushes my cock up her moist fanny. She’s having fun, we try a few different positions, the last one in bed. She doesn’t want me to shoot my load in her mouth though, up her cunt is ok though. I suggest shooting in her face, she agrees so that’s what I do, she gets the full load; but with her mouth tightly closed after I gave her a warning that it’s on its way.

    I take a few pics with her, after a few minutes she’s loosened up again. She wants to stay overnight in the near future so that we can take some pics in the morning sun – unfortunately it only shines into this room between seven and eight-thirty. She also told me I can shoot my load in her gob next time, a promise. Well, maybe she’s realised that my juice is “tasteless”.

    reisebericht erotik travel report bangkok no limits grubert

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  • Karaoke originated in Japan and is well like by Asians, of course in Thailand too. In Pattaya (and Thailand!) there are countless karaoke bars of all types.

    The principle of karaoke is always the same; one has a microphone and must sing a song, which is played on a video. This video plays the music only without singing but the lyrics are show on the screen.

    These bars can be divided into two categories. There are the larger bars with enough space for sometimes more than 100 visitors and smaller bars which are bursting at the seams when 15 to 20 people visit.

    The atmosphere in the larger karaoke bars is a little restrained, for example, there is not such the “group feeling”, which the smaller bars have. For this reason I find the smaller bars a lot more interesting.

    All of this has nothing to do with sex although in some bars you may find a waitress who is willing to spend some time in bed with you for a small fee. Quite often the girls are shy or a little timid due to 99% of the clientele being Thais.

    I think the best strategy for a good Thai like evening is to ask one of the bar girls whether she likes karaoke and whether she knows of any small nice karaoke bars. Even better is if you can visit one with three of four girls. Thais have a completely different view of enjoyment, which can be seen here.

    Below is a description of such an evening:

    I enter the small karaoke bar together with four girls who all know and get on with each other (from the same bar). We sit down in a small room on a scruffy settee with a small table. The waiter or waitress turns up (quite often queers or gathoeys), don’t worry, this is something quite normal in Thailand and won’t lead to disagreement or complications). The service is friendly such as is normally is for Thailand. I order a 0.7 litre bottle of Thai whisky, e.g. Regency (my favourite). They bring the bottle (if not on stock then they will go and get one) and glasses, also some coke and soda. Yes, Thais love whisky with soda and a drop of coke, tastes delicious. The waiter or waitress also gets a glass of the mixture and is happy.

    We are now given a folder with songs and the girls choose a few. These are then played on the “videoke” machine (jukebox with video). The microphone is passed around. Don’t worry one does not have to sing. The more alcohol the better the atmosphere gets. In between one has a bite to eat, one is not supposed to eat one’s fill, for Thais, food is something that belongs to celebrations. For example, one orders a spicy noodle salad with shrimps or pork (Yam Wun Sen), the famous Thai soup “Tom Yam” is also well liked and is served with various ingredients.

    In this way one spends quite a lot of time singing, eating, dancing and drinking. All this normally goes on until the early hours of the morning (open end). It’s always like a family occasion and believe me, Thais really do like celebrating… One is more among ones selves in smaller bars meaning that one can be quite “liberal”.

    Prices are very cheap; of course the farang has to pay. The bill for the fun described above runs up to about 2000 – 3000 Baht including Food, drinks and songs. The waiter(ess) is given a 100 Baht tip and is happy about that.

    The bars are just off the normal tourist routes. Look out for small places with flashing coloured light chains. But as I said, the best thing to do is ask the girls.

    By the way, it is a well know fact that after knocking off from work the karaoke bar girls usually get off with someone.

    Unfortunately I only have these older photos…

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    Grubert on the Philippines
    Angeles City Newbie 2.0
    Angeles & Subic Bay
    © by Major Grubert

    The ultimate single guide – travel guide for Angeles City & Subic Bay. The “Users Manual” for men who want to have fun at the number one party hotspot on the Philippines. All practical holiday question before and during the trip.

    The “Holiday Bible” for men travelling alone on the Phils. A MUST – not only for newbies!

    Additionally: Very detailed travel report including authentic extracts from my diary, they leave nothing out.

    With approx. 1,500 photos and many maps.

    Contents:

    Table of contents – Preface – Why Angeles City?? – Advantages – Disadvantages – Location, arrival, entering, leaving the country and continuation of journey – Booking – Immigration Manila – Customs – Forms – First cash exchange – Carrying on to Angeles – Accommodation/Hotel – Hotel booking strategy – What to look out for with hotels – Cash machines/Exchanging cash – How to get hold of cash? – Health – Doctors – Hospitals – Travel health insurance – Motivation and background of the girls – Why do the girls go on the game – The service the girls provide – All inclusive! – Safety – Safety strategy arrival – Safety strategy hotel – Safety strategy when out and about – General safety tips – Visa extension at a travel agents and flight bookings – When, where, for how long, how expensive? – Cultural differences – Cultural shock! – A few things you shouldn’t do – Bars and other establishments – What there is – Gogo bars – Blow job & short time bars – What is where in Angeles City? – Orientation – Fields Avenue – Perimeter Road – Santos Street – Raymond Street – Bon Appétit!!! – Where what is? – Girls – which where…? – Cherry Girls – Ladyboys – Short Time or something more for the heart? – Prices – How much money will I need? – Water or wine – Getting around Angeles City – Trike – Jeepney – Trips out of town – Doing things in Angeles? – Pinatubo volcano – Shopping Centre – Party!!! – Various events – Own party in your hotel – Basics – Sex with children in the Philippines – Tips – Seasonal differences – Shopping – Pharmacy – Explanation of terms – Butterfly – Love clown – Bar fine/EWR – Short time – Long time – Super Long time – Freelancer – Lady drink – Double Lady drink – Towel screw – Mamasan/Papasan – GFS/GFE – Happy Hour – General Tips – Condoms – Viagra & Co – Handy/Smart Phone – Language – Electricity – Short Time Hotels – Time difference – Travel health insurance – Begging kids – Leftovers – Beggars –Street traders – Mixed crowd – Vibrators, dildos and other toys – What should I take with me? – Visa – Accommodation II – Angeles City, the bottom line – Subic Bay – Arrival – Accommodation – Beach!!! – Out and about during the day – Girls – Bon Appétit!!! – Out and about at night – Floating Bar – Subic Bay, the bottom line

    Index, maps, links & Co!
    Links from the report, chronologically
    Maps chronologically

    With authentic descriptions of all situations. The extracts from my diary leave nothing to be desired

    As usual all chapters with lots of photos

    Fitting bundles of travel reports (in the post or as a download):
    Philippine Bundle
    Asia Bundle
    “I want all”
    Or simply select what you want – super bundle (minimum of six CDs)

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  • I have already mentioned how the different bars function. But which type of girl should one look for, where and how should you go about getting one? Everyone has something different in mind, what strategy should one use? Here a few basic comments on this subject.

    Let’s start with what can’t be avoided, the Cherry Girls. What should one think if virgins are working in a bar? Nothing really. It’s as about unnecessary as a hole in the head. It could happen if you have bought a girl quite a few drinks and after paying the bar fine you here her say, “I’m a cherry girl.” Some go along but it’s a question of whether they do a good blow job or blow at all. Forget about a fuck, at least vaginal 😉

    As already mentioned, they are virgins but some only have a boyfriend and/or can’t be bothered with the old in and out game. You can recognise such girls by the “V” (for virgin) on their “service pass”. Each girl has one maybe pushed into her panties or hanging somewhere. The ID shows a photo, age and name. Of course you can simply ask the girls if they’re CGs if you want, you will always get an honest answer. You won’t find many CGs but when you do it could be anywhere. Why pay the full for 50% fun?

    At this point something else: there are also ladyboys in the Phils, they call them “Baklas”. Over the past few years a lot of them have really caught up with looks and are able to compete with the good looking Thai “Gathoeys” (Ladymen).

    Value for money strategy with “real” girls: If you’re only looking for a nice “hot water bottle” for the night then you will find something all over. There is not such a big difference in the looks of girls as in Thailand where quite often the really good lookers work in gogos and the “ugly ducklings” in some beer bar. In Angeles things are more mixed, both in the gogos and in the smaller filthy bars – one doesn’t necessarily have to pay the high prices of the Fields.

    Personally, I’m a bit of a night owl who likes to look for prey in bars later at night. Of course you can take a girl you have released earlier with you on a prowl around the community, but then you will have tied yourself up for the rest of the evening. Another method is to pay the bar fine for a girl but leave her in the bar and pick her up later. She will stay in the bar in her daily clobber, you will have reserved a beauty for later on but are still able to go bar-hopping and/or have a short time elsewhere.

    This is what you should do if you want to have a party with a few chicks: If you get chatting to a girl simply ask her if she does lesbian. If she says she does then ask her about a female friend. Ideally she will either phone a friend or wave over another girl from the bar. The next thing to do is tell them to kiss – but a proper kiss, not just a peck on the lips. We want to see long wet tongues get entwined; they need to get hot blooded. If they pass this test then you can start negotiations – what you want, do they like pussy licking etc. etc.

    Don’t make the mistake of, apart from the girl you have released, taking along just “some” other girl, there’s a 99% chance that things will go wrong. The girls have to like each other, that’s the main thing. It can also happen that you will be able to make one of them happy in bed whilst the other is wrapped up in a towel locked in the bathroom – until they swap. You won’t be able to get a grip on the two of them together and we understand something else when talking about a “real party”, right lads?

    Where to find such girls? Theoretically everywhere, but you will have more chance in the smaller filthy and short time bars than in the sterile gogos. Then again, I have met the odd natural talent in the latter.

    Further: it’s not unusual to take along a “super long time” for a few days and whilst doing so have the odd short time in between; of course without letting on what you’re doing. Not all of them will find it great if you get yourself another girl. This doesn’t really have anything to do with jealousy but with some sort of ownership and the possibility of losing face with the other girls in the bar. This has nothing to do with you either, even if it does appear to look like that. Anyway, there could be a certain amount of stress.

    Never mind, the girls lie a lot too, they all do to prevent themselves from losing face. The main thing is that it’s not too obvious so that she finds it unbelievable. Simply tell her you will be meeting up with friends from your home country, you want to go out together and discuss something, she will understand. Or, send her to the beauty salon with 500 Peso, she’ll like that and tell her it’s important that you meet up with someone or need to get on the internet. This will give you a couple or three hours, enough time for a short time in one of the bars, at the home of one of the girls or in some short time hotel or wherever you want.

    Please always treat everyone with respect in the country you are on holiday, especially the girls, after all, you will be spending most of your time with these. In general, if you do this you will be treated well.

    I would like to point something out. It’s widely thought that all Filipinas are whores, of course this is rubbish. So please be aware of the fact that if you do get chatting to some girl down the Fields or wherever – she could be a sales assistant or someone just passing by. This could mean trouble, especially if her boyfriend or husband happens to be close by and hears… luckily this won’t be the case in bars. All of the girls in bars will go along with you, even the waitresses and mamasans. That’s if they happen to be bothered or… something that’s more probable – at the end of the money there’s still some month left…

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  • Thailand: Beer Bars

    “Hey sexy man!!!” is cried all over the place, followed by “come inside!” sometimes with “meeeee” added to the end (“come inside me”). It doesn’t matter about our looks, even older and not very attractive men are coaxed into the bars with us of all possible and “impossible” methods. Of course they want to earn money; bars exist by selling drinks and maybe by hiring out a girl.

    How does a beer bar function?

    One enters the bar and looks for a place to sit, mainly at the bar. Some bars have a comfortable place to sit with a table. Normally one is welcomed and one orders a drink. After this one is served with the drink one has ordered together with the bill as a note (see “safety”) in a small beaker or similar, which should be placed in front of you. In general, after a short time, one or a number of girls will turn up and start chatting to you, the contents is always the same:

    How are you?
    What is your name?
    Where you come from?

    And maybe a question asking you whether you are there on business or on holiday, and, whether one is in Thailand for the first time (say no!).

    Depending on how the bar is run one is either quickly, later on or not at all, asked for a lady drink. If this is asked at the beginning then say no. If you fancy one of the girls and you want her to stay then buy her a drink. If you don’t fancy a girl but another one working in the same bar then it is no problem to let her know. So, make eye contact with the girl with you at that moment, let her know or tell the Mamasan (manageress or owner of the bar).

    After a bit of small talk one or the other entertaining game is played  such as “4 wins” or a simple dice game whereby the objective is to throw all number combinations from 2 – 12 with the use of two dice. One may even play a more skilful game with wooden bricks. Some beer bars even have a snooker or billiard table.

    Of course the bars try to provide an interesting atmosphere, the louder the music and the laughter of the girls, the more customers start turning up. Later at night and with increasing alcohol consume it will get more joyful.

    The bars’ opening hour from about midday until two in the morning, this could deviate a little depending on the location of the bar.

    There is a bell hanging in each bar and customers who ring this bell (possibly as loud as possible so that the whole street hears it) have just volunteered to buy a round for all present. By the way, such bells or something similar can be found in all types of bars throughout “tourist Thailand”. One should not ring them all that often if at all.

    A lady drink costs about twice the price of a beer or local brand of whisky and is often just a tiny little glass full (sometimes they seem to be the size of a thimble) of some drink. Some girls only drink Coke, other Thai whisky, gin or even a beer. The girls are given a part of the price of a drink; mainly one third to one half, the bar keeps the rest.

    Another source of earnings for bars and girls are the hiring fees. The fee is paid to the bar (in beer bars mainly 300 – 400 Baht) to compensate for the girl’s loss of business for the rest of the evening. You take the girl with you obviously meaning that she cannot work for the bar for the rest of the day. The hiring fee is shared between the girl and the bar, they get about half each.

    If you happen to meet a nice girl who you can imagine keeping until the next day then ask her quickly without waiting, this for two reasons: There are Thai girls who won’t go with you for a long time because they have a boyfriend (often a Thai) or one or the other “sheiks” or “sugar daddies” who regularly send them cash. They will then say “sorry but I am on the rag”. A bit rotten if they first let you know after about eight hours. The second reason: You should hire the girls out quickly to avoid paying for expensive lady drinks for most of the evening, that’s good money chucked away. Ok, if things are nice and the situation is right, why not, is just a general thought.

    Some girls will only go for a short time for the same reason or because they think that they can earn more money by having a number of short times instead of one long time. This is quite true if the girl is good looking and there are enough clients about.

    No matter whether a ST or LT (see below for definition), agree upon the price (apart from the obligatory hiring fee) and what you will get for your money. The clearer things are beforehand, the less chance of disappointment when back at the hotel. It is quite seldom but unfortunately does come about, that one picks up a girl who will only give a blow job with a rubber johnny. The best thing to do is to get rid of such girls without notice, but in a friendly manner. Stupid if one has not talked about these things beforehand, makes you the stupid one.

    I for example, always ask whether she likes giving a blow job and whether I can shoot into her gob (this puts an end to the johnny problem), how long she can she stay the next day and that in all events she has to make me “happy again the next morning (an LT without a morning screw is no good at all).

    If you are able to come to agreement then it’s out of the bar and off towards the hotel, or if you want, a bit more bar hopping and disco before you go there. No, you can’t lie on top of the girl all day, that’s something one will realise quite quickly in Pattaya. Of course you can stay in the bar; I make it clear that I am not paying for any more lady drinks after having paid the hiring fee. I only pay for normal drinks, which is Ok. Quite often the girl will like to stay in her own bar to help with the turnover.

    Beer bars are a vital feature in the face of Pattaya, they belong to the townscape. It’s all quite nice really, in most of the bars one is served in a friendly manner and one is also able to just sit there and relax. Quite often I buy some Thai food on the street for a few Baht (for example, a few meat skewers with rice or papaya salad) and take it to the next best beer bar to eat. This is something quite normal in Thailand. Without asking one is normally given a few serviettes, sometimes even a plate and knife and fork. There is no ulterior motive; the people are quite often only being friendly. Of course one orders a drink from the bar, a few Bahts tip and all are happy.

    During the evening the mobile food stalls and soup kitchens are out and about, there is defiantly enough to eat on the streets, nobody has to go hungry. Thais eat a lot and with enjoyment, the food in Thailand really is one of the great things about the country.

    Quite often during the evening salesmen will turn up at the bars to try and make a bit of cash. On offer are fake watches, fag lighters, chewing gum, fags (Attention USA citizens, fags = Brit slang for cigarettes), Polaroid photos, sunglasses, T-shirts and all sorts of crap. A friendly “no thanks” is normally enough to get rid of these people. However, if you happen to have shown some interest then they will try everything to make you buy something.

    Unfortunately there are also negative examples. In some cases depending on the location of the bar one only expects casual customers (who one will meet once and never again), or the Mamasan is simply stupid. One quickly realises whether the service is friendly or just waiting to rip you off. Keep away from bars where they shout “Eeeehhh Falang!!!”, this is disrespectful. If one is asked for a lady drink every couple of minutes it is better to just get up and go.

    Most bars hope for regular customers and are polite to their guests.

    By the way, don’t get irritated by the fact that sometimes there are always kids at the bar, they belong to the girls or the boss. This is quite normal in Thailand and is Ok. It’s different with the begging kids and those wanting to sell something, more about that later on.

    The best looking, youngest and wickedest girls are in general not to be found in beer bars, in return some prefer the atmosphere of the open bars to the more cold air in the gogos for example. However, it is possible to grab a smart tart in a beer bar, so, just keep your eyes open and don’t wait for too long, the best are hired out first of course.

    Some beer bars (which are to found in houses) have short time rooms (see photo, the girl with the glasses). Here it is possible to shag the girl of your choice on location, which is handy because one does not have to leave the premises. Prices are the same all over (room about 300), however, it’s still better to come to agreement beforehand.

    In the beer bars one is able to find out quite a bit about the Thai mentality and the lifestyle of the people. This starts off when experiencing how the girls treat each other and how and what they eat etc. In each bar there is a small altar for Buddha who is made a sacrifice each day and the girls mainly pray each day on arriving at the bar. This does not disturb at all, on the contrary, it belongs to daily life in the LOS (land of smiles).

    From this point of view beer bars are the ideal place to get a little closer to the Thai culture 😉

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    Grubert in Thailand
    Pattaya Newbie 2.0
    The Standard Reference for Singles in Thailand’s Partying Town
    © by Major Grubert

    Contents:

    Ultimate Single Guide – Travel Guide for Pattaya. The “Users Manual” for Singles in Thailand’s number one partying town. The “Bible” for men travelling alone in Thailand. Useful questions for before & during your trip.

    It’s a must – not only for newbies!

    With tricks, tips, infos, addresses, links, index.
    With more than 1600 photos and 35 maps.

    Preface – Why Pattaya? Advantages and disadvantages – Location, arrival, entry, leaving and continuation of journey – Living – Cash machines/exchanging cash – Health!!! – Motivation and background of the girls – Pay-sex in the LOS – Safety tips – Bars and other establishments – Beer bars – Gogo bars – Blow job and other short time bars – “Insider tips” I – “Insider tips” II – Discos – Body massages, clubs and pubs – Karaoke bars – “Insider tips” III – “Other” massages – Where to find things in Pattaya – Naklua – Beach and Beach Road – Soi 2 & 3 – Soi 6 – Soi 7 & 8 – Soi 13 – 13/4 – Walking Street – Soi Diamond – Second Road – Soi Buakhao – Soi LK Metro – Pattaya’s harbour – Viewpoint & Big Buddha – Jomtien – Which girls where? – Prices – How much cash will I need? – Getting around in Pattaya – Bon appétit – Cultural shock – Festivals and celebrations – General things – Dictionary – General tips – Trips and things to do – Shopping centres – Trip to Bangkok – Trip to Koh Larn – Trip to Koh Samet – Index, maps links & Co

    With an authentic description taken from blow job bars, massage parlours, gogo bars, from short time sessions. The diary entries leave nothing left to be desired

    As usual all chapters with numerous photos

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